Total pages in book: 12
Estimated words: 11501 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 58(@200wpm)___ 46(@250wpm)___ 38(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 11501 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 58(@200wpm)___ 46(@250wpm)___ 38(@300wpm)
“Where did you find this place?” he asked as we entered through a grotto covered by a pergola wrapped in a year’s worth of flowers and twisting vines.
“The surfing instructor’s girlfriend told me about it when you were out riding the waves.”
They had our table ready when we arrived. What I didn’t expect was to be sitting with other people, but apparently, every night was broadcast live on the restaurant’s YouTube channel. Had I known that, I would have watched a few episodes first.
We introduced ourselves to the two other couples dining with us. One woman appeared drunk and the other looked bored. The men, however, were sociable and eager to chat.
“Rayne, is it?”
I nodded and the man held out a large hand.
“Name’s Bob. This is Judy. We’re from Oklahoma. Where are you two from?”
“We live in Key West.” I didn’t see the need to explain that Hale had multiple houses all over the country.
“Key West is great. We vacation there with friends every fall. We call our little club the Upside-Down-Pineapples.”
“Oh, that’s…nice,” I said, unsure if that was important information for me to have.
“Why the pineapples?” Hale asked.
“When you know, you know,” Bob said, shooting me an exaggerated wink.
I guess I didn’t know. Still, I didn’t want to appear unfriendly so I said, “I love pineapples! They’re one of my favorite snacks.”
Bob grinned. “I bet you got a real sweet tooth, don’t you, Rayne?”
“You know it.”
I glanced at Judy, who was face-planting in her cocktail. She didn’t look interested in anything her husband was saying so I looked at the other couple. “And your names?”
“This is Laura and I’m Norbert.”
I snapped my mouth shut. Did he say his name was Norbert? I could not be around people with silly names and Norbert was a name of a chubby headliner in a comic strip.
This time Hale didn’t bail me out. He knew a name like that would kill me, and no matter how composed he appeared I sensed him laughing at me on the inside. Bastard. I’d show him that I could hold a conversation like a sophisticated adult.
“So…Norbert—” I swallowed back a laugh. “What do you do for a living?”
“I’m a minister of merriment.”
Uh-oh. I ignored the giggles building in my stomach. “And what is that, exactly?”
Norbert grinned. “Well, I own my own business, so technically I’m the Jester-in-Chief or Head Honcho of Hilarity. Hey-oh!” He laughed, elbowing his wife who looked like she could think of a million places she’d rather be.
I cocked my head, still a little confused about his business and feeling like I missed the punchline of his joke.
Laura rolled her eyes, but not in a playful way. “He’s a clown.”
I stilled. “A… c—clown, did you say?” As a lifelong sufferer of coulrophobia, this was no laughing matter.
“Want to see a trick?”
“Oh, God, no, please!” I drew back in my seat and clung to Hale.
That was enough about Norbert. Turning back to the pineapple winker, I smiled. “Where’d you get that drink, Judy?”
“The waitress.”
I’d sure like to meet her.
“Tonight’s gonna be a hoot,” Norbert announced, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. What if he was suddenly wearing a red nose?
When the waitress finally returned, I ordered a margarita, but that was a no-go. The chef even picked the cocktails and tonight we were all having pink squirrels—whatever the hell that was.
“And what exactly is this?” I stirred the milky pink drink and sniffed, finding the scent nutty with a trace of chocolate-covered cherries. “Hale, smell this?”
He leaned over and sniffed the glass then cleared his throat. “That’s…interesting.”
I begrudgingly sipped the concoction and gagged. “It wants to be pink milk, but it’s not.”
The centerpieces were cleared to make room for the main course, which we still hadn’t been told about. Remington once told me it was rude to ask too many questions when dealing with eccentric chefs. So I trusted the experience.
But when the main course arrived, my easy going attitude disappeared. “Um…” I leaned close to Hale. “That pig’s staring at me.”
“Which one?”
What did he mean, which one? “The one with the apple in its mouth.” Who knew I had hard limits with food?
When I looked to see if anyone else was disturbed by the sight Pineapple Bob winked at me. What the hell was this guy’s deal?
Hale tossed his linen napkin over the pig’s head. “He winks at you one more time, and I’m going to do to him what they did to Wilber.”
I scrunched my nose. Ew. “He’s old, Hale,” I whispered, trying to be discreet.
“That’s irrelevant. You’re my wife and he’s been eye-fucking you since we sat down.”
I cleared my throat, staring down at my empty plate and disgusting drink. Maybe we should leave.
“What’s got you acting so shy all of a sudden?” Bob asked and Hale snapped.
“That’s it!”
“Whoa.” Bob held up his hands. “Easy now.”