Total pages in book: 156
Estimated words: 151044 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 151044 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
When I told his kids their father had started smoking again—less than a year after a massive heart attack—none of them seemed concerned. Hale said Remington would do whatever Remington wanted to do. Barrett called his father an idiot. Seraphina suggested homeopathic aroma therapy paired with hypnosis to help him break the habit, which Remington later called millennial cult voodoo—and there went Seraphina’s concern.
It was the first time I shared an actual conversation with Phina about her father and it was eye opening. I knew Remington could be a pain in the ass to his sons, but he caused a different pain for his daughter. There was so much expectation based on her gender, and we both knew he would likely never change.
“If it helps, I know your dad’s extremely proud of you.”
She’d smiled sadly. “I wish hearing that from other people was enough. What does help is learning to value my success without the validation or approval of others.”
She sounded so healthy, speaking from that tender place of pain and peace that always gave away when someone had gone to therapy to heal a wound.
I wondered if Hale would ever consider talking to a therapist about his father’s betrayal with Jasmine. It might help him work through his trust issues. Maybe I’d suggest that to him after the wedding. Maybe I could go to—Lord knew I had some issues to work through.
Phina’s complaints about misogyny and closed-mindedness were valid. What threw her was the idea that I might be an exception to the rule. “He’s different with you.” She looked at me as if I had some magic solution where Remington was concerned. I did not.
“He’s still the same man. The difference is I’m not his kid.”
“But he…loves you like…” She frowned and I understood her confusion.
Remington withheld affection where his own children were concerned. Rather than praise them, he preferred to command and critique them and get frustrated whenever they didn’t do exactly what he suggested. If he treated me like one of his children, he’d be a lot harder on me.
“Love can be expressed in countless ways. He might not say it out loud, but he does love you, Phina.”
I felt closer to her after the conversation. She was incredibly humble and open in ways that most people couldn’t manage. I saw her vulnerability and openness as extremely courageous.
Plus, she had proven to be my greatest asset in wedding-gate, especially since Elle canceled the last two times we had plans to ‘do wedding stuff’. My MOH was MIA, and I was starting to wonder if she was as overwhelmed by all this wedding talk as me.
So, yes, I was very grateful to have Seraphina’s help and more than willing to listen to her sniffle through some frustrations about her father.
“He’s just different with you, Rayne. It’s difficult to not get envious when I see you together.” It was the first time I ever considered that Seraphina might put herself and I in the same category.
It was never my intention to make her jealous. I didn’t know why Remington and I had such an easy give-and-take. It just came about organically. “I’m not his daughter.”
“But you’re going to be his daughter-in-law.”
Phina was the only girl and the baby of the family. I didn’t want to intrude on her territory. “That’s not the same. No one can compete with a father’s daughter. She’s the greatest love of a man’s life.”
My heart hurt a little as I said those words. In terms of Hale, they were true. He loved Elara like the moon loved the sun and he’d dotingly follow her shadow for all of eternity. But in terms of my dad, that was a bald-faced lie. There were plenty of things he loved more than me.
I wondered if, subconsciously, I was trespassing on Phina’s “daughter territory” to fill a void in my own life. I adored Remington. And, as much as he could be a pain in the ass, I loved him like a father. But I wasn’t out to steal him from his other children.
I made a conscious decision to push Remington to call his daughter more often so there would be no sense of competition between the two of us. It would do him good to put in some extra effort anyway. He could use the time he would have spent smoking to call them.
Seraphina never tired of the wedding plans. On the contrary, she seemed invigorated by every design challenge. She truly had a gift and an eye for beauty. I could claim no such thing.
As promised, Phina drew up several theme proposals for the wedding and emailed us a slide show for each one. Hale and I settled on the one she called Traditional & Timeless Elegance. We finally had our mood and theme.
The wedding would be a formal white-tie event, which I had never heard of before. I’d always assumed black tie was the top of the fancy cake, but nope. There was a whole other tier for white ties and floor-length gowns.