Total pages in book: 156
Estimated words: 151044 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 151044 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
“No thanks.”
“You sure? We have tea.”
Tea actually sounded great. Since losing my coat I couldn’t shake the chill in my bones. “I’ll take a hot tea.”
“How about you?” he asked Barrett.
“How about a phone?”
The man laughed and Barrett mimicked the sound with a cranky lilt. When the guy walked away I nudged him. “Be nice or they’ll kick us out.”
“Oh no, whatever will we do then?”
“I’m not going back to the cold car.”
When the guy with the ponytail returned with two hot teas, I gratefully accepted mine. It was warm and my stomach needed something to silence the stress grumbles.
“Bleck!” Barrett grimaced. “This tea’s bitter as shit.”
“Really? I think it’s sort of earthy and calming. I mean, I’ve had better, but it’s not terrible. At least it’s warm.” I stared for a long time at the nap of the carpet as I sipped from the mug. “Do you think this is shag?” I dragged my foot over the brown fur.
“Shag?” Barrett repeated, cocking his head. He looked ready to fall asleep as he leaned into my side. “Shaaaaaaaaag.” He laughed. “Shhhhhhhhhh-ag.” He laughed harder.
“What’s so funny?”
“Shagagagagagagag. I don’t know.” He slid his foot out from the loveseat and dragged it next to mine. “I’m thirsty. My tea’s gone.”
I became very aware of my tongue. “Mine too. Here. Have another fruit snack.” We continued to contemplate the carpet as time lost all meaning.
“Yo.” Darnell stood over us, the single syllable of his speech coming out like the slow note of a Whitney Houston song.
“Sup, dog?” I said, doing my best Randy Jackson. Randy had something to do with Whitney, right? Or was that Mariah? “I fucking love Christmas.”
“Did you guys eat that whole bowl of gummies?” His voice faded like a dream.
Suddenly everyone was there but far away. I was trapped in some sort of soundproof barrier safe enough to make Nixon jealous. No matter what I said, no one could hear me. “It’s like super-Watergate. We’re invisible.”
Darnell spoke, but I couldn’t hear him. I laughed and looked at Barrett, but he was staring really hard at his fingernails. I snorted and pushed him, then he looked at me and gasped.
“Meyers? When did you get here?”
“Oh, fuck,” Darnell said his voice coming closer again. “We’ve got a green out, people!”
“Darnell,” Barrett laughed. “Where’s your… thing?”
“My what?”
“Your…” Barrett mimed something long and slender, then patted his lips. “You know. The stick. With the noise.”
I squinted one eye as my lip lifted like Elvis. “Spear? Yodel? Javelin! Spoon.” I tried to guess at whatever game he was playing. “Animal or mineral?”
“No, you can’t eat it,” Barrett said itching his ear. He suddenly flinched when he noticed the lamp to his right. “When did that get here?”
Widow’s peak came over. “Why are your friends laying on my floor?”
“Hey, we are on the floor.” I laughed, shoving Barrett who was talking to a lampshade. “You’re in love with that light.”
“The shade’s so fringy. D’you get this at Bergdorf?”
He was speaking cursive. Nothing made sense yet it all made perfect sense. “I feel good.”
“They ate an entire bowl of gummies.” Darnell said, looking down at us. “They’re high as fuck.”
“Microphone!” I yelled.
“Yes!” Barrett grabbed me and shook my entire body. “That’s it!”
“Darnell has a microphone!” I snorted, unable to stop laughing.
A bunch of people gathered over us, staring down as they formed a circle.
I suddenly stopped laughing. “Whoa. Am I dead? Am I looking up from the grave?”
Next thing I knew I was sitting on a bench outside of a twenty-four-seven quickie mart eating an ice cream cone. “I love ice cream.”
Barrett sat next to me, turning his own cone to lick around the edge. “I like when there’s a little chocolate surprise at the end.”
I snorted and doubled over in laughter. When I caught my breath, I looked around. “How did we get here?”
He paused and cocked his head. “I don’t know.”
I shrugged and continued licking my ice cream. “Do you think there was something in that tea?”
“Like what?” He gasped. “Aw, man, I hit the chocolate prize. Yes!”
The lights inside the quickie mart were really bright. Every few seconds they flickered and hummed. “Do you hear that?” I swatted the air around my ear.
“I hear everything,” Barrett said, covering and uncovering his ears. “I hear Taylor Swift right now.”
“I always hear Taylor Swift.”
“Let’s go find her.”
We were up and moving. Then we were standing in front of the clerk at the counter. “Is Taylor here?” Barrett asked.
The man at the counter frowned. “You’re back.”
“We’re looking for T-Swift. Tell her Davenport and Fickledump are here.”
“What the? Am I Fickledump? What does that even mean?” But Barrett had moved on to the chip aisle and left me standing over there. “Hey, I thought we were a team, man! You don’t leave a bear out in the woods with no coverage, you got me? There are spies everywhere!”