Calamity Rayne Gets Hitched Read Online Lydia Michaels

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Billionaire, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 156
Estimated words: 151044 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
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“I’m trying! I can’t find my phone.”

“Damn it, Meyers!” Barrett flung the covers off his body.

“Mother of penis!” I covered my eyes, blindly following the music. “Put some clothes on!”

“Answer the fucking phone!”

I shook out the material of the dress and my phone sailed through the air as the ringtone silenced. Time slowed.

“Nooooooooo…” Barrett’s grey eyes widened, but it was too late. My phone nailed him right in the cash and prizes and he dropped like a sack of meat.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!” What did he expect walking around with something that big exposed to the elements?

He cupped himself, a quiet whimper simpering from his quivering lips as his eye twitched. His nostrils flared as he inhaled what would likely be a deafening roar sharp enough to puncture my skull.

I slammed my hand over his mouth as my phone rang again. “Be quiet! It’s Hale!” I answered the call, smothering Barrett’s injured cry. “H—Hale?”

Barrett squeaked.

“Rayne, thank God.” Hale sounded immensely relieved. “I’ve been going crazy trying to find you.”

Barrett glared over my fingers, his eyes bulging as he seethed with untethered rage and what I suspected was some pretty intense junk pain. I muffled the phone and gave him a death stare, warning him to stay silent.

“Baby, are you there?”

I covered the phone and pressed a finger to my lips. “Shut up and swallow your pain like a fucking girl,” I hissed, rushing over to the window.

“Rayne? Where are you?”

“Yeah, I’m here.” I stared into the blinding sun. Where the hell were we? “I’m, um, in the city. We—I—got a room.”

“Is Elle with you?”

“Elle?” My mind recoiled as I went into avoidance mode. “No… Uh…” The thought of my best friend slash maid of honor brought about too many icky emotions to handle at that moment. “I wanted to be…” I glanced back at Barrett as he quietly whimpered and cupped his balls in the fetal position. “…alone.” I bit my lip, fully aware that I was the world’s worst liar.

“We need to talk about last night, Rayne.”

Last night? My shoddy memories pieced together like an old flag rotting in a time-capsule, disintegrating through my fingertips as I tried to grasp reality. There was the rehearsal dinner, then the fight between Barrett and Hale, then… Oh, God…

“I’m pulling up your location now.”

Technology would inform him of my location faster than my mushy brain could puzzle together the surroundings. Buildings cluttered the horizon, but none were the familiar skyscrapers I’d come to recognize from the Fifth Avenue view of the penthouse.

My jaw dropped when I spotted the East River. I was on the wrong side of the Manhattan skyline! Was that the fucking Brooklyn Bridge? How the hell did I get here?

“It says you’re in Brooklyn Heights. Is that right? What are you doing all the way over there?”

If only I knew. “Um, you know. I took a cab.”

Kind of true. I vaguely recalled being in a car. I remembered a lot of red.

“You took a cab to Brooklyn? Why?”

Yeah, there was no viable explanation to justify how or why I ended up in this direction. “I, uh, just needed time to think, so I got a room.”

As I lied to my future husband, I rushed around the suite launching personal belongings onto the bed, ignoring Barrett’s crippled form as he nursed his balls.

“Rayne, if you’re having second thoughts, don’t. Everything’s going to be fine. We’re ready for this.”

“Yup. Ready.” Any attempt at a put-me-in-coach tone failed miserably.

“No more distance.”

“Uh-huh.” I couldn’t find my purse and every step felt like the soles of my feet were on fire.

“We have some heavy, time-sensitive things to discuss today, and I need you to keep an open mind.”

“Yep. Open as a quickie-mart.”

He sighed. “Are you okay? You’re safe?”

“What? Oh. Yeah. Let’s talk about it when you get here. How far are you?” Every word out of my mouth reverberated through my skull like a cast iron frying pan falling down a flight of stairs.

“I’m about ten minutes away.”

Ten minutes? “Perfect,” I lied through clenched teeth. “I’ll see you in ten.” My thumb ended the call and I flung the phone onto the bed. “What are we going to do? Hale’s going to be here any minute!”

A bellow spilled from Barrett’s pained face.

“We don’t have time for that!” I yanked the covers. “Get up! You have to get out of here.”

“You nearly castrated me!”

“Put your pants on! Where’s your other shoe?”

“Why do I have to leave? This is my room.”

“Hello? Have you met your brother? If he catches you in here with me—naked, which I still don’t understand—he’ll lose his shit. I can’t be the center of another peanut brother and jealousy sandwich. For God’s sake, cover yourself!”

He shoved a hotel pillow over his junk. “I’m probably incapable of fathering children now, thanks to you.”

“Stop being a baby. You’re holding that thing like you’re afraid it’s gonna run away. It can’t be that bad.”


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