Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 136915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 136915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
“Dad shouldn’t blame Nevio. It’s not his fault.”
Savio chuckled, glancing to the front where Nevio and Dad were still at it.
“Your brother hasn’t been the best example. His track record is really messed up.”
“That might be true, but it has nothing to do with what happened today.”
“You can tell your Dad that.”
Dad was moving toward me, his expression troubled, but also lingering with anger. I knew the latter wasn’t directed at me. Savio got up and gave Dad and me space. Dad pulled me to my feet and hugged me tightly. Then he pushed me back a bit and searched my face. I allowed him to look at me, so he could search for whatever he was hoping to find.
“Don’t fight with Nevio because of me. It wasn’t his fault.”
Dad’s expression tightened. “That’s hard to believe given his usual activities.”
“I did it. Not him.”
“It definitely wasn’t just Nevio. I certainly can be blamed too.”
“If it’s genetic, then you couldn’t have done anything different.”
Dad shook his head with a sharp laugh. “You’ve been spending too much time with Nino.”
I glanced past Dad, toward the doctor who was coming our way. “I have to amputate half of the tail, so maybe you should go outside while I do.”
He meant me. Dad would hardly be bothered by the sight.
“I want to stay,” I said.
The doctor looked at Dad for confirmation, and Dad nodded.
“Why did you kill him?”
I pursed my lips, trying to determine the reason for my actions. In that moment when I’d tossed the lighter at the man, I hadn’t really thought much. I’d acted out of rage and despair.
“I don’t know if I wanted to kill him. I wanted to inflict the same pain on him that he’d inflicted on the dog.”
Dad nodded. “But by setting someone on fire, you take killing them into account.”
“Yes.” I’d known he’d die. It was the consequence of my actions but not their purpose. “I’m not sad that he’s dead.”
Dad remained silent. “But you regret using violence?”
I nodded. “I still don’t like violence. I still don’t want to hurt others…I…”
“That’s what makes the difference, mia cara. You acted out of kindness even if your actions were anything but.”
“I burnt someone because I wanted them to experience the pain they’d caused another creature.”
“Next time you want to punish someone who hurt an animal or person, tell me, your brother or one of your uncles and we’ll handle them.” He kissed my forehead.
I nodded, because I knew it was what Dad wanted. He thought he needed to protect me and stop me from doing something I didn’t want to do. But in that moment, I’d wanted to hurt the man in the worst way possible. Now? I hoped I’d never feel the urge again but I knew I wouldn’t ask Dad or my uncles to step in instead either. I didn’t want them to have more blood on their hands because of me.
My eyes settled on my hand. It was still slightly pink. Nevio’s shirt hadn’t rubbed away all traces of blood. “My face?” I asked.
Dad turned to Savio. “Give me a wet towel.”
Savio went over to a sink and came back with a soaked towel. Dad cleaned by face gently then his hand froze. He touched my cheek. “What happened there?”
“The man I killed hit me.”
“You showed him mercy by what you did. I would have made his end much more excruciating than what he experienced.”
I knew it was true. I also knew it didn’t diminish my guilt.
“Does Mom know?” I asked. Mom always worried about Nevio. If she found out I’d burned someone, she’d be heartbroken. I didn’t want her to suffer because of me.
“Not yet,” Dad said. “And I’m not sure I’ll tell her.”
I hugged my middle. “You shouldn’t lie to Mom. She’ll be furious if she ever finds out.”
“I prefer her fury to her worry.”
“She’ll worry if she finds out. But if she finds out later, she’ll worry too.”
“Do you want me to tell her?”
I swallowed. “I don’t want it, but I know you should tell her.”
“I won’t.” He nodded toward Dotty. “You probably want to adopt that dog as well?”
“Yes. I have to keep her as a reminder of what humans are capable of, myself included.”
Dad touched my cheek. “It won’t happen again. I know you’ve been suffering in silence for a while and not talked to anyone. Today was the result of that.”
I’d hoped Dad and the others hadn’t noticed that something was wrong with me, but apparently my anguish had been too strong to keep it hidden. My feelings for Amo hadn’t vanished in weeks or months, my heartbreak was still as potent as it had been in the beginning. It didn’t make sense.
“He needs to stay under surveillance for another day before he can go home with you,” the doctor told me, once he’d bandaged the tail and the dog’s two broken hind legs.