Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 136915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 136915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
Mom sank down on the bed beside me. She took both my hands and clutched them tightly. “Your injuries to your abdomen were bad.” Her voice wavered and she stopped. “They couldn’t save…they had to remove your womb.”
I blinked at Mom, trying to understand. “A hysterectomy?”
“Yeah.” Mom’s eyes filled with tears but I still didn’t fully understand. “You won’t be able to…”
I’d read enough of Nino’s medical books and magazines to know every detail of what this meant for me. “Carry a child,” I finished for Mom, and it sank in. Becoming pregnant, having a child, hadn’t been on my mind, and because of Amo and my uncertain future, I’d never given it a thought, but having any chance of it taken away? I suddenly realized that for a future with Amo, I might have wanted children, a big messy family with dirty kids who grew up with many animals.
I let out a shuddering breath, feeling a little lost. Mom stretched out beside me and hugged me. She cried against my hair and I gripped her tightly. Finally, I cried too. I cried for a loss of something I’d never really had, a loss for a piece of me that had seemed irrelevant. The loss of a future that could never be. I wasn’t sure how long Mom and I cried together, how long we mourned the loss of a piece of my future, a life that might have been.
The ache was a new kind of pain. One that I’d carry with me for a long time, maybe forever.
A new thought crossed my mind. “Amo needs an heir.”
Mom pulled back, her eyes swollen. “Oh sweetheart. This should be the last of your worries.”
My brows puckered. “But it’s the truth.”
“I saw how he looks at you. He loves you so much. He won’t care about an heir, trust me.”
Maybe. I was so confused, so lost.
“Can you send him in? I want to talk to him.”
“He knows, okay? He knows what your surgery means.”
I shook my head. Maybe he thought he knew. Mom got up and gave me an encouraging smile. “I’ll get him and he’ll tell you what I told you. That it doesn’t matter to him.”
Mom walked out and less than a minute later Amo came back in. His eyes swam with concern as he walked over to me.
I patted my mattress.
Amo perched on the edge as if he was scared of hurting me but I leaned against him, needing his closeness despite how fragile my body felt. He wrapped me in his arms, surrounding me with his warmth and strength like a cocoon of consolation. It felt wonderful, like something I never wanted to miss again.
I wanted a future with Amo, wanted nothing more but he needed to know that it wasn’t a future he’d always had in mind.
Greta’s body tensed in my embrace. I pulled back slightly and looked down at her pale face. Traces of tears shone on her cheeks. I wiped them away with my thumb.
Greta peered up, those dark eyes forlorn. I couldn’t imagine what the news of her surgery had done to her.
“You can’t ever have kids with me Amo. This time nothing can change that. My body can’t hold a baby anymore. If you want an heir, you must choose someone else.”
What the hell was she talking about? I cupped her cheeks and softly kissed them. Nothing in this world would separate me from Greta again. “I won’t be without you again, Greta. You are mine until I take my last breath. I love you more than everything else in the world.”
“The Famiglia is your destiny, Amo. You are meant to be Capo.”
I nodded because deep down I knew it to be true. “I’m also meant to love you. I don’t need an heir. I need you. Marcella is pregnant with a boy. She’s the oldest. He can become Capo. That’ll carry on the bloodline too.”
I’d always wanted children, but I wanted Greta more, and maybe there were other options to explore eventually. “All that matters now is that you heal quickly so we can marry.”
Greta let out a whispy laugh. I kissed her temple. “I love you so much. It kills me that you had to suffer so much. You have the kindest, biggest heart of anyone I know. You don’t deserve this.”
“Maybe I did.”
I cupped her cheeks. “Fuck no. Don’t ever think like this, okay? I need to know that you’ll be okay.”
“I think I’ll be okay, eventually,” she whispered. “I want to dance again. I want to see my animals again.”
I kissed her forehead. “I know you’ll be. I’ll be with you every step of the way you have to take to heal.”
“Won’t you have to return to New York? You have responsibilities, especially at a time like this.”
“Dad, Valerio and Matteo handle the situation for now. Officially I’m here to negotiate peace.”