Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 96922 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96922 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
“I wasn’t about to let you beat me to that,” Dax added with a grin, like he was victorious for spitting it out fast enough. He snickered as his grin shaped into a sly smirk. “I could tell that’s where you were going with that, so I kind of cheated.”
“I’m in love with you too, Dax.”
Dax’s smile diminished, replaced with worry, concern even. “Last thing I ever wanted in the world was to fall in love. I spent my life trying to see the worst in people, hoping I’d never get attached, but then I met the one guy I couldn’t see the worst in…who could get through all my defenses because I’d only created walls to protect myself against bastards and assholes. I didn’t stand a chance against a sexy man with a heart of gold.” I could feel the sincerity in his compliment, but just as quickly, he tensed up. “I just wish I hadn’t been the one who brought this poison into your life.”
“Poison? Dax, you didn’t bring any poison into my life. I made the decision to head down this path. You might have wanted me to take the deal, but I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to, and if you think back, I wasn’t that easy.”
“Not with that, at least,” he said with a wink.
I smiled, reflecting on all he’d given me in those parts where I was fairly easy, but we still had more important matters to discuss. “I made that decision because I thought I could do some good, and even after seeing that broadcast, I don’t regret it. I didn’t change, Dax. I’m still the same person I was before. I’m human, and I have my weaknesses, and yeah, all this attention amplifies them like you said it would, but it hasn’t destroyed me or my family or us. We’re as fucked up as we were before, and we’ll be as fucked up tomorrow and the next day. And hell, I’d say between the two of us, I have it pretty easy. I have to wake up worried that there’ll be a story about my dad on the news. You have to worry that you might wake up and I won’t be there the next day. I’d say you have a hell of a bigger decision in all this than me. And if you want to walk away, I get that.”
He pondered that for a moment, and I was glad, because it wasn’t something I wanted him to think on lightly. It was as serious a consequence as there could be in any relationship, a burden I wouldn’t have wanted to push on anyone.
“If you do walk away, though,” I added, “you mind walking a little slow? I’m kind of handicapped at the moment, and I want to be able to catch you.” There was more desperation in my tone than I’d intended, but no matter how much I wanted to protect him, I didn’t want to lose him either.
He chuckled, his forehead wrinkling, his eyes watering. “That’s the problem we’ve got, Jace. You already caught me.”
Relief swelled in my chest. “Thank fucking God,” I murmured.
He reached his hand out to me and ran his knuckles across my cheek. “It isn’t right that someone as beautiful as you can be even more beautiful on the inside, and knowing what you do hasn’t discouraged me for a second. Even a few hours without you felt excruciating. I kept telling myself that I just needed to let you go because I didn’t want to bring any more pain into your life or your family’s life. I can see why you’re worried about hurting other people, but do you think you would rather have lived without knowing Crawford than to have known him and lost him?
“Jace, when Keegan took that call and I saw his panic, for a second I couldn’t help but think the worst. It would have destroyed me, not just to have lost you, but to know you’d gone and I never got to tell you how much I care, how amazing you are, and how much you mean to me.”
I took his hand, still against my face, and gripped on. “So we’re in agreement that it’s better we stick around and hurt each other than to ever be apart?” I was trying to be cheeky, but I meant it too, and I could tell by his expression that he understood just how much truth there was behind it.
“Jace, to feel a moment of joy with you is worth all the pain I could ever endure.” His jaw was tense as he offered his words with such intensity, I could feel their utter sincerity.
I sat up and reach out, gripping the back of his head and drawing him close to me for a kiss. “Come here and give me some of that poison,” I said, pulling him, urging him onto the couch with me.