Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 96922 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96922 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
The more I told Jace about her, the more I figured he must’ve observed the apparent disconnect between someone like Nance and someone like my mother. It was only going to go downhill from there.
“I don’t think I knew real terror until I came home at thirteen and found Mom lying in the bathtub, fully clothed, looking like she’d been in a bar fight, blood rushing from her nose, her neck caked in vomit. I thought she was dead. Luckily, she’d just OD’d.”
“Thirteen? Dax, I can’t even begin to imagine how horrible that must’ve been.”
Why was I sharing those things with him, this guy I barely knew? And yet, I knew it was because of all the people in my life, Jace seemed like the least likely to judge me for the past. Even in the short time we’d known one another, I knew that much. The circumstances surrounding the endorsement deal were the only reason a guy like him was in my life, because Jace Kruse was a rarity in my world…perhaps any world, really.
“I was in season three of the series when my mom went to rehab for the fourth…maybe fifth time,” I confessed. “I couldn’t tell you for sure because at that point she was out of my life more than in it. I was staying with an actress from the show because she was the only one who’d ‘watch me.’ That’s what my mom called it when she’d drop me off for a night of babysitting and just leave, gone for weeks or months, sometimes on a drug bender, sometimes for rehab. I never really knew which or when she was telling the truth.”
Jace stroked my thigh gently, like when we fucked and he was offering me that soothing assurance of his soft caress. As much as I prided myself on being able to take care of myself, in that moment, it felt pretty damn good to have his support.
“I can see where your perception of the industry and fame comes from,” he said.
“That was just my first taste of what stardom did to a person. Not only what it did to her, but to her friends too. It’s hard on a person when they’re given so much, only to have it all—appreciation, affection, money—pulled out right from under them. It’s a jarring thing for a person when that’s all they ever wanted in life.”
“Everyone wants those things, Dax.”
He was right, but it was hard for me to explain what I meant. “You’ll have to see what it’s like when it happens to know…really know…the damage it does to a soul. I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve seen fall prey to the la-la-land machine. Insecurities mixed with money and drugs is a terrible combination, and it’s all too common. And the worst part is when the fall is the hardest, when the failure is tremendous, everyone’s watching, writing up articles about you and interviewing those around willing to rat you out for a couple of bucks. It’s all a grand production to the public.”
As Jace had mentioned, he’d seen enough specials and documentaries and tabloids to know, at least in part, what I was talking about. Still, it was one thing to read about it or watch it on some crafted cable network’s docudrama. It was another to watch them unravel right before your very eyes, as I had with my mother…as I had with so many others.
“Then why work in PR? It clearly affects you. You’re obviously bothered by what it does to people.”
“I guess I always had it in my head that I could maybe help someone else through the wreckage. Hasn’t been my experience, but occasionally I’ve been able to help people navigate that chaotic world. Or in some cases, help people pick up the pieces when the spotlight’s moved on.”
“Sounds like someone else runs into burning buildings for a living?”
I had to laugh. “No need to make it sound more heroic than it is. For the most part, it doesn’t get that bad. And most of the time, the public’s moved on by the time these stars are at their most self-destructive. But I’ve learned I have a knack for it. I know this world, how it works, what it’s all about. Being realistic and not some starry-eyed kid makes me good at my job.”
He eyed me skeptically, as though he knew my reasons didn’t explain it all.
“It’s complicated, Jace. I have a very complicated relationship with what I do, but obviously there’s more keeping me there than making me leave. Besides, as many disasters as I’ve met in my day, I’ve met some okay guys too.” I winked at him, and he smiled, the first since things had turned so serious after I got the news, though chatting with Jace had helped calm me down. “You’re easy to talk to. A good listener. Another thing I don’t see a lot in my job. A lot of people just like to hear themselves talk.”