Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 85565 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85565 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
And it was all because of James?
Conor stepped forward, a concerned look on his face. “You okay? You look a little wobbly on your feet.”
I nodded, though he was right—it felt like the world had suddenly tilted around me. I stared out at the sinking sun, needing something to focus on, something to ground me in place. It was almost completely gone, just that small sliver of orange on the horizon shrinking smaller and smaller. I held my breath, searching for the green flash, willing it to happen, believing in the promises my grandmother had made me as a kid about luck and wishes coming true.
“Why?” I asked, my voice barely more than a breath. I licked my lips, my throat suddenly dry. “Why would James do all of that?”
I could hear the smile in Conor’s voice when he said, “Because he loves you, obviously.”
I didn’t wait for the flash. Instead I turned and ran.
25
James
My shoulders ached. So did my back. And my legs. As well as my arms. Maybe I was too old for this shit, but I didn’t let that stop me as I slid the pry bar under another slab of marble on the brownstone entry floor and forced it free. I welcomed the physical pain, hoping that it might override the emotional pain burning through me.
So far it hadn’t worked. But I was still hopeful that if I just pushed myself hard enough, worked myself long enough, I could fall into bed at night and find sleep instead of memories of Sawyer.
I closed my eyes at the thought of him. I’d heard from my friend Conor earlier that afternoon that the deal had been finalized and everything had gone smoothly. He’d gushed about how quaint the Sea Sprite was and what an amazing view it had on all sides.
Yes, I’d wanted to scream at him, but what about Sawyer? Instead I’d said, “Did you happen to meet Sawyer?” trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.
Of course Conor had seen right through me. “Why do you think we decided to go ahead with the deal? We didn’t fly all the way up here to check out the property, we came up here to see if the man was worthy of you.”
“I told you, that’s not what this is about,” I’d said. “I’m not trying to win him back. This isn’t some grand gesture, it’s just the right thing to do.”
“You say that and yet—”
I’d interrupted him before he could get any further. “I’m serious, Conor. I don’t want Sawyer to know I had anything to do with this. I don’t want him feeling indebted to me or thinking he’s some sort of charity case. His ideas are good, it’s a solid investment. This has nothing to do with me.”
“But he should know how you feel about him,” Conor had protested.
I’d flinched at the words. I would have given anything to tell Sawyer how I felt. I’d imagined it a thousand times on the edge of sleep. I’d take his face in my hands and hold him close and whisper all the ways in which I loved him. All the ways in which he lit me on fire from the inside out. And I wouldn’t let him go until he agreed to let me love him for the rest of our lives.
“He walked away, Conor,” I’d said instead. “I have to respect his decision.”
“But love doesn’t work that way,” Conor protested.
“Sometimes it does.” And that had been the end of it.
I’d hung up the phone and gathered all the pain and anguish I felt, all the regret and frustration, and I’d taken it out on the brownstone. Ripping walls and floors, erasing every trace of Richard’s horrid taste. Once I was through, I planned to put it on the market, and then I planned to leave.
I had no idea where I’d go next or what I’d do. When I wasn’t thinking about Sawyer, I’d been thinking about other things in my life that had mattered to me and how to get them back. I’d committed to Dragon Con with Conor in the fall. I’d gotten in touch with my old D&D crew and asked about starting up a new campaign. I’d even reached out to my dad. Not that I wanted to resurrect any kind of deep relationship, but he was my father and I wanted him in my life—with firm boundaries in place, of course.
I’d thought about the last time I’d been happy working as a lawyer. Apart from the early days fighting for what I considered just causes, it had been working with Conor to secure his mother’s invention and with Sawyer to draft a business plan to secure his family’s legacy. I realized that both jobs had involved families fighting to protect what mattered, needing sophisticated legal help they could never hope to afford. Maybe I could find a way to turn that into a new career, though I thankfully didn’t have to worry about that anytime soon. I had enough money in the bank that I wouldn’t have to worry about what came next career-wise for a few years, longer if I moved out of the city.