Total pages in book: 44
Estimated words: 40635 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 203(@200wpm)___ 163(@250wpm)___ 135(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 40635 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 203(@200wpm)___ 163(@250wpm)___ 135(@300wpm)
Honestly, I expected tears and screaming and tantrums. She's given me a lot of those since we moved. If we're finally on the upswing again, and she's back to swindling me, I'll take it. Especially right now. Because I feel like crying and screaming and throwing a tantrum myself.
All damn day, I've felt that way. And I don't know what to do about it. All I know is that Grayson is back, and it feels wrong that he isn't here right now, holding me.
He said today that my father is the reason for everything that happened. That's replayed in my head all damn day. I don't know what he meant. But the weight sitting on my chest is so freaking heavy. And I don't know if hearing him out is going to lighten the load or crush me entirely.
"Hey, Mommy?" Brinley asks, snuggling back down against me, Grayson's guitar pick clutched in her palm.
"Yeah, lovebug?"
"Do you think Daddy is sad too?" she whispers, worry in her voice.
"I don't know," I lie, unwilling to tell her the truth when it'll just hurt her. I know he's sad. I'm pretty sure he was crying when he left my office today.
God. Why does it hurt so bad to know he's hurting too?
Because you never stopped loving him, a little voice whispers. And you never will.
"Maybe I should give him a present too," she says. "That way, he doesn't miss us too much when he isn't here. He's probably lonely."
"Yeah, lovebug. You do that," I say, another wave of tears rolling down my cheeks.
Chapter Six
Mina
"Hey." Riley pokes her head into my office, her gray eyes searching my face as soon as they land on me. "Can we talk?"
I sigh, pushing away from my desk. "If you're here to talk about what I want to do with this company, I still haven't decided."
"No," she says quickly, coming in and closing the door behind her. "I'm actually here about Priest."
"Who?"
"Oh, right. I keep forgetting…" She grimaces, sliding into a chair across from my desk. "Grayson."
I flinch as soon as she says his name. Ever since he left my office yesterday, I've felt wispy and insubstantial again. Like he's haunting me. I'm pretty sure he was sitting outside my house last night when I slipped out of Brinley's room. And again this morning when we left for school.
"You called him Priest?" I ask quietly, my hands clutched together in my lap.
Riley nods, hesitation written all over her face. "The hospital gave him the name since he didn't know his."
"You believe his story about not having any memories?" I ask, genuinely curious what she thinks about all of this. She knows him. It'd be nice to hear what someone else thinks for once. I thought about calling Theia, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't even know where I'd start.
"I think the important question is whether you believe him," she says gently. "Because it's your life that fell apart when he went missing, not mine. Yours and his."
"How is he?"
She hesitates, clearly reluctant to answer that question.
"Please," I whisper. "I know you don't owe me an answer. I just…I spent every damn day afraid he was dead, Riley. It destroyed me. Then he shows up out of the blue, and my whole world feels like it's imploding all over again. I'm terrified he's lying to me. I'm terrified I'm going to end up broken all over again. And still, all I can think about is whether or not he's okay."
"You still love him."
"I never stopped." I glance down at my hands, laughing ruefully. "I'm such a mess. I'm so damn mad that I've been here alone, raising our daughter alone, but I'm the one who chose it, you know? I never even tried to move on. I refused to accept that he was gone. I just…couldn't. So I never dated. I never even considered it. I've always been stuck on him. And now, the one thing I wanted more than anything is literally happening. He's back, and I'm screwing it all up."
Guilt pricks at me, tears welling in my eyes. That's the part that's really messing with my head. I've dreamed about this exact thing so many times. But I guess I never really let myself believe it could happen. Now that it has…I feel like I don't know how trust it. I don't know how to trust myself or him or anything. When miracles don't happen in your life and suddenly one does…how are you supposed to just accept it?
"You're not a mess," she whispers fiercely. "You're surviving, Mina. There is no rulebook for this. There is no right way because it's not something that happens every day or every other day. You're in an impossible situation. Your husband died for all intents and purposes. For six years, he was dead. You grieved him. You raised your daughter on your own. And then he came back." She stares at me with wide eyes. "Anyone who tells you that they'd handle this any better is full of crap. They'd be just as confused and overwhelmed and messed up as you guys are right now."