Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 77098 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77098 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
I shouldn’t feel like that though. I should be hating on him. I should be cursing his name and finding a little Nate voodoo doll that I can stick pins into. Instead, I’m thinking about how he held my hands as he pushed up into me. How he kissed my neck and made sure I was ok.
Shit. This sucks.
I grab the blanket off my bed and trudge downstairs. I get myself comfortable on the couch and practically cocoon myself in the blanket while I wallow in a pit of my own self-destruction.
I hear the front door open before it’s slammed shut. I don’t need to wait to see who it is. I just know, and all I see is red.
I fly up off the couch and storm through my house. I find Nate on my stairs heading up to my room on his mission to find me. “Hey, asshole,” I call after him. He stops and turns around to find me glaring up at him. “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing up here,” I demand. “And how the hell did you get in? I changed the damn code.”
He flies back down the stairs and is in my face in a matter of seconds, glaring right back at me. “March sixth. 0306. The day Trixie died,” he tells me as I gasp at how easily he recited the day my family’s Labrador passed away. “I fucking know you, Tora. I know you better than you know yourself.”
“You don’t know me,” I argue. “You might know facts, but you don’t know me.”
“Bullshit,” he says. “Why the fuck are you hitting on Parker? Is he here?”
“What’s it to you?” I demand as I push impossibly closer. “Jealous?”
His eyes narrow on me. “You fucking wish.”
I continue to glare at him as I slowly shake my head. “I never should have let last night happen,” I tell him before pushing him back a step. “How could I have been so stupid to fall for that shit? Was it just a game to you? Do you enjoy treating girls like shit and making them feel worthless?” I seethe before stepping into him and pushing him again. “I knew it,” I say as the anger completely overwhelms me. “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you. I should have saved myself for someone who deserved it.”
“Saved yourself?” he grunts as he catches my hands in his, stopping me from pushing him again. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
I rip my hands back out of his. “Nothing,” I say, realizing my mistake way too late. “Please, just go.”
He ignores me and pushes into the wall, grabbing my hands so I can’t possibly escape. “What are you talking about?” he repeats. “You slept with Carter Williams last year.”
My eyes narrow on his as the anger becomes nearly too much to bear. “No, I didn’t,” I tell him. “We went on one date and he told everyone he fucked me in the cinema parking lot. He was such a pig, I left halfway through dinner. We didn’t even make it to the movies.”
He just stares at me, clearly very lost in thought. “You were a virgin?” he murmurs in shock.
“And he finally gets it,” I cheer with sarcasm as I push him off me again.
“Fuck,” he curses before walking away and from the look in his eyes, I fear for my walls. He looks back at me. “I should never have done it.”
Pain rips through me and I somehow manage to stand before him without shedding a single tear. “Wow, you really know how to make a girl feel special,” I grunt. “Maybe you should have brought a gun and shot me. That would have stung less. So, please, if you’re finished insulting me, then make yourself acquainted with the door and get the hell out.”
With that, I turn and walk straight up the stairs, not bothering to look back at him.
I get into my room, pleased he hasn’t tried to stop me and close the door behind me. I lock it and lean back against it before sliding to the ground. I force myself not to cry. I’ve already done enough of that today, but then, those comments ripped straight through me.
How could he have said that? Is it me that he finds so repulsive or is it the fact I was a virgin? Either way, I’m right back where I was a week ago. Completely riddled with self-doubt and major body image issues. I mean, I don’t get it. Maybe if I dyed my hair blonde and got some blue contact lenses, I’d fit in with all the Malibu barbies around here. Maybe then I’d feel beautiful because right now, I feel anything but.
The door handle wiggling has me jolting out of my inner thoughts. It’s been at least ten minutes. I thought he was gone, probably finding some other poor defenseless girl to screw over. “Tora, open the door,” Nate says quietly from the other side.