Series: Willow Winters
Total pages in book: 56
Estimated words: 51151 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 256(@200wpm)___ 205(@250wpm)___ 171(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 51151 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 256(@200wpm)___ 205(@250wpm)___ 171(@300wpm)
We were alone in the woods with the full moon hanging above us, as it is supposed to be. Merida arranged our meeting. My sister was full of hopes and dreams back then. She was ecstatic that we were going to be in the same pack. That together we would raise a family of wolves that could rival any other pack. I followed her into the darkness. I trusted that Shadow’s pull to me was enough, even if I didn’t feel a great pull to him. I let him claim me that night while Rayne claimed my sister.
The memory of that night brings a chill over my body, and my breath comes up short. Another holler from outside brings me back to the present. My fingers brush against his mark and my eyes close tightly remembering how much it hurt. My legs tremble, remembering the burn that scorched my entire body. It took hours to go away.
If I could go back, I’d never be claimed. I’d run from my mate and hide away where no one could ever find me.
I tried to be resilient for him. He told me it was shameful that I would react to the pain. That I wasn’t strong enough to take his mark. He said I didn’t deserve the honor of being an Alpha mate even though it was already done. I wish I’d let him leave me rather than promising to be better. I think, that very first night, I broke a promise with fate by not loving him as a mate should. Even if he had made his claim, I shouldn’t have clung to him and promised to be stronger and a worthy mate. I believed the words of the seers and tried to be better for him.
I was a fool.
Because of that, because of me, my family and old pack are dead, all but my niece and nephew, and they aren’t far behind. They don’t deserve this life. They’re so young and innocent. They didn’t choose this. I wish I could save them. I wish I could protect them. Most of all, I wish I could go back and not listen to a word from the seers. I should have trusted my instincts, but all the wishes can’t take a damn thing back.
For now I protect the pups as best I can. I don’t understand why their father keeps me away when he doesn’t care about them. Rayne lets them starve, but I’m beaten and chained for trying to give them my food. He won’t let them see me. He keeps them away only to hurt them further. Or to hurt me. My body shakes with agony, and my hollow chest tightens in pain. I hate Rayne. My shoulders hunch in anger and defeat as I bring my knees further into my belly. I hate my mate. My lungs heave with a harsh intake of air. I hate this pack.
The spiral haunts me daily as does the guilt of what I’ve done.
This isn’t a strong pack as the seers foretold and as far as ties with his previous pack, he’s tried to kill them, tried to cause them pain. I heard what they were planning to do to the pack mates. I’m so thankful they failed. I have no remorse that the members of my own pack are dead. Their hearts have turned black with greed and they delight in harming others. They thrive from one another’s resentment and brutality. Tears brim in my eyes as my throat dries, making it difficult to swallow. It got worse and worse, and I couldn’t stop it from happening.
There’s a sting of pain and then a small push against my belly reminds me of my reason for living. My baby. I let out a hush of a staggered sigh and rub my swollen belly. I close my eyes and imagine a future better than this. My little one apparently has the hiccups, bumping against my pelvic bone with each little jolt of his body. A small, sad laugh escapes me as my whole body warms with the tiniest hint of happiness.
Sleep begs to take me, but with these contractions I know the time is soon. I pray it is. I have to stay alert, and as soon as I’m given the chance, I’ll run. I have to believe it’s possible. Without it, without that small scrap of hope, there’s no reason to take another breath of this dirty air.
I wish I was stronger. I wish I was faster, but with this extra weight and exhaustion, there’s no way I could outrun Shadow’s pack. I tried once. Before I was pregnant. Once I realized what kind of wolf Shadow really was. The seers had told me lies, great and horrid lies. Once I opened my eyes and realized what hell I’d been given, I tried to run. It was late and the pack was asleep. I thought if I got a good head start then I could reach my family. I delivered death to my old pack. When he found me just a mile from them, he decided I deserved to be punished. He made me watch, bound and gagged, while his pack crept through the night and murdered every wolf. They hid in the shadows and ambushed my family. I could do nothing to save them. I was as weak then as I am now.