Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 135652 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 543(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135652 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 543(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
I nod and continue slowly wiping at his smooth skin, watching as the dark trail leading from his naval to places unknown, shines with droplets of water. “I don’t think I’d have been as affected as I was if she hadn’t made me stay in there, you know?”
He nods, “Was she a good mother?”
“As good as she could be. She was good to me but she was also selfish. She helped me pay for University as much as she could, she just wanted me to have a good life but didn’t know how to do that. She wanted herself to have a good life and forgot about me whilst getting that sometimes,” I say, running the cloth over the rim of his trousers, being extra careful not to touch where I shouldn’t.
His throat bobs as he gulps, his body no longer trembling. “Thank you.”
“Better?”
He nods and I slowly remove my hand before throwing the cloth in the sink.
“I’m going to have a shower… could you?” He motions to the ground where the lasagne has splattered. “If it’s too much, leave it and I’ll deal with it.”
“I’ll do it, you go,” I reassure him, my eyes lowered again and allow him to pass. Once he’s left the room I squat and clean. It’s not easy, it’s not comfortable but it takes my mind off what just happened.
What did just happen?
Chapter Nine
Nathan didn’t come out of his room again last night, I don’t mind, he’s probably embarrassed even though he shouldn’t be. Maybe it’s after what I did with the cloth, I shouldn’t have been so… sensual and slow about it. Maybe he read into it wrong, I was just trying to comfort him but I can see why he’d think I wasn’t.
Nah, I’m being ridiculous. He didn’t read into it at all, I’m the one reading into it too much.
Unfortunately due to the heavy rain and strong winds Paula reschedules our lunch date for Friday. This is aggravating, meaning the weather, but also a relief. I’m not ready to socialise with the outside world yet. As ridiculous as that sounds.
It hurts me to see other people happy.
Maybe I should see a therapist.
No. I need to just keep myself busy to keep my mind off it.
Stupid knots in my stupid hair. Comb through damn you.
There’s a knock at my door. “Come in,” I call, still trying to get the tangles out of my hair.
Nathan steps inside, “I’m sure I don’t have to remind you.” He begins, I look at him through the mirror. “That anything that happens between us, anything you see that relates to me, is confidential.” Anything that happens between us? This could be read into wrong so I choose to read into it in the safest possible way and assume he’s referring to conversations and other daily things.
“Duh,” I roll my eyes and place the brush handle in my mouth as I use both hands to pull my thick hair atop of my head.
“That’s disgusting, you’ve…” he clears his throat and looks away for a moment.
I quickly drop the brush from between my teeth, it lands softly on my thighs. “Better?”
“Yes,” he takes another step into the room and his brow quirks. “You’re very tidy.”
“Always have been. I like everything to have its place.”
“OCD?” He asks politely.
I shake my head, “No, I’m just organised. How are you feeling?”
He runs his tongue over his bottom lip, his face becoming a hard mask. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention yesterday.”
“Of course,” I stand and make my way back to my not even nearly finished jigsaw puzzle. Crossing my legs, I sit on a scatter cushion and finger the pieces until one jumps out at me.
He’s still here. Why’s he still here?
“I’m serious, if I hear whispers of it pass over even Jeanine’s lips I won’t be happy,” he snaps, shocking me.
I blink up at him, “I won’t say a word.”
“Make sure you don’t.”
His eyes burn into mine for a moment longer, imploring me to soak up his words, before he turns on his heel and leaves my room.
I can’t believe how… cold he can be at times. I get that what happened isn’t something he wants to talk about but can’t he at least speak to me with a little more respect? I feel like a naughty child.
He’s so… back and forth with his demeanour towards me. I can’t tell if he hates me being here or not. If I’m such a burden why not just rent me a place? From what I can tell he has enough money to house me somewhere else, at least then he wouldn’t have to deal with me on a daily basis. None of this makes sense.
Or maybe I’m just overanalysing it like I do everything.
Sitting back on the floor I continue on with the jigsaw. It’s boring to say the least but there’s nothing more to do around here. My eyes linger on the bed where I long to just curl up and forget everything in a world of darkness. It takes everything I have to stand and leave the room. The baby gives me a few kicks and I’m assuming it’s because he or she is grateful that I’ve chosen to be more active.