Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 103281 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 413(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103281 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 413(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
“All right, stop. This one has a piano!” I heard Helen call from another part of the suite. She made me chuckle. This was the third hotel she’d been in, but the extravagance of it all was still so new and exciting to her. I remembered that, how cool it was, how every new place took your breath away a little. Hearing the delight in her voice, I felt a stab of sadness knowing it would wear off.
“Come to bed, Heli. Busy day tomorrow!” Same as every day.
She appeared under the archway a moment later, leaned against the wall that separated the bedroom from the dining area. She looked stunning, as ever, despite tiredness tugging on her eyes. Reaching up, she pulled the band from her hair, let her auburn waves bounce onto her shoulders. “Are you still nervous?” she asked, shimmying out of her jeans. I’d noticed over the last couple of days, that I’d started looking away as Helen changed. It wasn’t something that had occurred to me before. We’d been so close since being four years old that we’d never thought to hide anything from each other, even our bodies. We’d shared everything at some point in our history, in every sense of the word.
Helen was beautiful, and I loved her, always had…but something had changed. Now, when I caught a glimpse of the fair skin that glazed her rounded hips, I couldn’t seem to carry on thinking about work, eating competitions, or whatever else we were talking about. All I could think about was touching her, wondering how warm she’d feel against me, how she’d taste. I couldn’t possibly have appreciated those as a naïve and fumbling teen. We’d been anxious, clueless. The whole experience had been rushed and sloppy, but I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. I’d wanted to do it again. I hadn’t told her told her that, though. We were friends. I think we were both afraid to mess that up.
It wouldn’t be sloppy now. I’d take my time with her now, explore every curve, taste every inch…
“Hugo? You still there?”
Dammit.
I’d tried everything to stop thinking of my best friend that way, even reverted to wanking twice a day in the shower like a fourteen-year-old, in an effort to rid myself of the ball aching boners that kept popping up in her presence. It had to stop.
Friends, I kept reminding myself. We were friends.
“What? Oh, yeah. Sorry. Tired.”
Dressed much more safely in a pair of pyjamas, Helen pulled back the duvet and climbed into bed. It hadn’t struck either of us to ask for separate rooms, or even individual beds. “Come on, you need to get in, too. You’re hogging the covers.”
I flashed the infamous duvet-thief to my right a look, making her chuckle, before stripping to my boxers and joining her.
“So, are you nervous?” she repeated. “About the show tomorrow.”
Ah. The Ricky Byrne recording was tomorrow. It was supposed to be last week but another guest had a ‘scheduling conflict’, so they’d switched us around. In the business, we all knew scheduling conflict was code for off his face. Probably coke. A little fentanyl for good measure. “Yeah,” I admitted. “Yeah, I am.”
Helen took my hand, held it between us. “I don’t know if it’ll help, but you could try blocking everyone out and imagining me. You’re so comfortable when it’s just the two of us. You’re interesting. Confident. You have a lot of great stories to tell. I love listening to you. I know the audience will, too.”
“Ah, Heli…” I wished it were that easy. Maybe it was. I’d never tried that before.
“And Drew said I’ll be sitting near the front so, if you need to, just look over. Talk to me. I believe in you, Hugo. Always have. You can do it.” Her lips carried the words, but it was her eyes that bore the truth. She stared at me with such credence, it was difficult not to feel empowered. She’d always had a remarkable ability to provide strength when I had none. Her courage was contagious. Her confidence in me unfounded but inspiring.
I didn’t deserve her.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” I whispered, wishing more than anything that I could lean forward and kiss her. A few inches, that’s all it would’ve taken. We were so close already. I could smell the lipstick she hadn’t taken off, almost taste it.
Fuck. Stop it. It would ruin everything.
Helen smiled her sweet smile, the smile that’d made me feel safe since I was a child. “Don’t ditch me for the rich ‘n’ famous again, and I always will be,” she said, stabbing me right in the fucking heart. It didn’t matter that she’d said it with a grin, that I felt confident enough in my ability to read her to know that she was joking. It was the truth. I had no right to have missed her, no right to expect her to stay.