Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
And of course his mother knew how to make pottery. Everywhere I go, everything I do, seems to keep leading back to A'tam. But he only shakes his head at me. "I do not know how to make it myself, no."
I don't know if that's good or bad. It'd be nice to be able to ask someone questions, but I suppose it's just as well. "Then why are you here?" I ask him again, working the clay into a ball.
"I told you. I was worried about you. Why are you here at night? Alone?" He gestures at the clay I'm working. "Would it not be easier to do this outside, in the daytime?"
"It would. But I don't want anyone knowing what I'm up to. If I can't figure out how to make this work, I don't want it to be another 'thing' Bridget is bad at." I glare at him. "So you can go now."
The look he shoots me is speculative and just a smidge too knowing. "You do not want them to see your failure?"
"Exactly." It's why I've hidden away at a too-tiny cave on the far end of the beach. If no one knows what I'm working on, there's no pressure to get it right. I can take my time to figure things out without feeling like I'm letting down everyone.
A'tam just smirks. "See? I know you better than you think."
I don't say anything. Truth be told, A'tam knows me better than anyone. In the days leading up to our disastrous sex, we'd make out, sure, but we'd also flirt and just spend hours talking. He knows me better than anyone else because he took the time to get to know me. It's just a shame that our physical incompatibility will stop us from having a real relationship. Not that A'tam has gotten the hint on that. He still bugs me constantly, as if persistence will make me change my mind.
It won't. You couldn't pay me enough to endure another round of sex with the man. It was easily the worst experience of my life…and I've been kidnapped by aliens.
Some people are just not meant to be together and I am clearly not equipped to handle enormous alien dicks. I take another pinch of grit and sprinkle it over my clay, glancing up at him through my lashes. "Thanks for checking on me, but I promise I'm fine."
A'tam doesn't get up to leave, though. Instead, he just watches me thoughtfully. "This is the first time we have talked without you yelling at me."
I arch an eyebrow at him as I massage the dry clay into my wet, muddy lump. "If I recall correctly, I'm not the only one that yells in our arguments."
He makes a sound of acknowledgment. "Truth."
He's quiet for a long, long time, and I finally get my clay to a consistency that satisfies me. I roll it between my hands, making it into a ball. I'm determined not to look over at A'tam as he squats between my bowls of water and dirt, the fire pit I've dug out, the tallow candles I have propped on ledges. The cave isn't any bigger than a closet, and A'tam squeezing in makes me painfully aware of how bad things went wrong between us.
Once upon a time, A'tam's smile was all I needed for my day to become brighter. I looked forward to waking up just so I could spend time around him that day. Each furtive caress was a promise, and his laughter warmed the darkest parts of my soul. Being around A'tam made everything on this icy beach not so terrible.
And then he showed up with Goliath in his pants and dicked my dreams away. I wasn't a virgin that night, but I can definitely say A'tam was far too big, far too enthusiastic, and I was far too tight. I walked funny for days afterward. Never again. Ever.
"If I am confessing truths," A'tam begins, and I stiffen with anticipation of his words. "I have known for many days that you come out here at night. I decided this night that I am tired of hiding and wanted to talk to you."
I can feel tension knotting between my shoulder blades. Here it comes. A'tam's going to demand that we be mates. "What do you want?"
He sighs heavily. "I am tired of you being angry at me, and me angry at you. I do not want to live like this."
I swallow hard, feeling stupid tears threaten. I focus my frustrations on the clay in my hands, molding it into a ball, then digging my thumbs into the center as if I've got a plan for it instead of just mindlessly working it over and over again. "A'tam, I can't. I can't be with you like that." Once upon a time, I would have loved it, but that was before we had terrible sex and then he acted like he owned me. I might like a lot of stuff about A'tam, but we're not compatible in the slightest, and it makes me sad. "I can't be your mate. I won't be."