Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
I turn the question over in my mind. It never occurs to me to hold back. “I feel like that when I’m on the ice, running through an old routine.” My voice is barely more than a whisper. “Everything bothering me just melts away.”
Hayes leans back slightly as he continues to watch me. “You’re really good, Tink. Better than that. So why aren’t you competing anymore?”
The question sits between us, heavy and suffocating. My chest tightens, and for a second, I’m tempted to shut him down. I’ve been perfecting that move for months, the art of deflecting, of keeping things light and easy so no one probes too deep.
Instead of allowing instinct to take over, I let out a gradual breath, the air escaping my lungs like a slow puncture. The words hover on my tongue, but they’re hard to release. Even after all this time, it’s still difficult to talk about.
He must sense the weight of my silence, because his grip tightens around my hand, offering something that feels dangerously close to comfort. “You don’t have to tell me,” he says softly. “I just... You’re so damn talented. Watching you makes me forget about everything else going on in my life, and I can finally breathe.”
The unexpected admission hits me hard. His words wrap around me, warm and solid, making it difficult to speak.
When I finally find my voice, my words come out quiet and scratchy. “Thank you.”
“You’ve probably heard it before,” he says with a shrug, like it’s no big deal.
My throat tightens as I shake my head. “Not like that.”
For a moment, we just sit. The weight of unspoken words presses down on me as I stare at the untouched sheet of ice.
The girl who used to glide across it with dreams in her eyes and hope filling her heart feels so far away now, buried beneath the heaviness of the past.
It’s almost a surprise when I hear myself say, “Something happened last year…” My chest constricts as I trail off.
His steady gaze never wavers, and for the first time, I’m grateful for the darkness of the arena. It’s safer somehow. Like the shadows give me permission to let the past out, even though every part of me wants to shove it back down and keep it buried.
I never intended to tell anyone, least of all Hayes. But there’s something about him that makes it hard to lie or hide. Maybe it’s the way he listens without judgment, his fingers wrapped around mine, grounding me in the moment.
“Nathan Covington was my coach,” I begin, my voice shaky but determined. “He found me at a local competition and told my parents that I had something special. He said I was a natural and that he’d take me all the way if they let him. My parents were thrilled. Within months, we uprooted our whole lives and moved to Utah.”
Even though Hayes remains silent, I feel the tension building in him. His fingers are still wrapped around mine, but his grip tightens just enough for me to notice. I glance at him and find his expression unreadable but his eyes sharp, focused.
“I skated all day, every day. I had private tutors for academics, ballet classes, strength training, and cardio—you name it, I did it. It didn’t take long before I was winning competitions and moving up the ranks. Ever since I was a little girl, my goal had been to qualify for the Olympics. With Nathan focusing all his time and energy on me, there was no way it wouldn’t happen.” There’s a long pause as I gather my thoughts, the memories painful and raw. “But then... things changed.”
Hayes sucks in a sharp breath but doesn’t interrupt.
“It didn’t take long for Nathan to become my everything. He was my coach, my mentor, the person I trusted most in the world. We trained together, traveled together, and ate together. He’d help with homework. And I suppose I had a crush on him. When I turned eighteen and our relationship crossed a line, it never occurred to me to question it. I thought it was just the natural progression of things. I thought it was love.”
Hayes exhales harshly, his jaw clenched tight. “Ava...”
I force out the rest, because if I stop, I won’t be able to do it. “I didn’t realize Nathan saw me as something he could mold and control. At that age, I was impressionable and desperate for his approval. I trusted him. I believed every word he said, every compliment, every promise.
“What hurt was that he weaponized my feelings against me. He was a master at mind games and manipulation. He was capable of cutting me down with a few sharp words. A look. That’s all it took for me to spiral. All I wanted to do was please him. It became more important than anything else. By the end, I was a mess. Nervous, high-strung, depressed. It was almost a blessing when people found out about our relationship. Except that it was like a bomb went off, destroying everything I’d spent my life building. I was a scandal. The girl who had an affair with her coach.