Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
He’d never met anyone whose naivety shone through their guileless eyes and was still able to give him hell when he was an asshole. That was some kind of heady mixture.
He didn’t know if he was ready for such a challenge, but hell if he wasn’t going to find out.
* * *
“What about you?” Driver asked.
Tam bit his lip and looked at the scratch on the wall over Driver’s shoulder. He was used to people looking at him when he was half-dressed—hell, even naked. He had been a whore, after all. It shouldn’t bother him now.
Except it did. He felt exposed in a way he’d never felt before. Open, raw, and...almost like he was waiting on the edge of his seat for something. He wasn’t sure what, but an undercurrent of expectation was swirling around inside him, beneath everything else.
And let’s not forget confusion, his go-to. Because, yeah, he was confused as hell. He’d been positive last night that Driver was one of those macho dickheads who’d bullied him his entire life.
Surprise, surprise. Apparently, he broke the mold. There was no pretending that bulge in his pants was anything but full-on arousal. And what exactly was Tam supposed to do with that knowledge? There was no way he could reciprocate.
He was done with all of it.
Sex had never been what Tam had sought, always something that had been forced on him—either physically or via his circumstances. He couldn’t go there with Driver. He just wasn’t built like other people. People like his friends, who could find pleasure in intimacy.
So what was left?
Nothing.
“I should get dressed. The pizza guy will be here any minute.” It wasn’t exactly cold in the hall, but there was a chill. At least that’s what he told himself when his body began to shiver. More than standing here wet and naked but for a strip of terrycloth, what really made him uncomfortable was that it didn’t matter what he wore, when Driver looked at him he felt vulnerable deep down to his bones.
“You’re going to ignore my question?”
“Yes.”
Driver’s smile grew sinfully wicked. “Guess I’ll just make it my mission to find out for myself then.”
Tam swallowed. “Uh. No. I’m...um...” What? He hadn’t put a label to it because there wasn’t one. His sexuality—or lack thereof—was complicated and wrapped up in things he’d rather not think about.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me if you’re, like, in the closet or something. But, last night, why didn’t you correct me? Or do you prefer the she pronoun?”
Tam shook his head, and a stray strand fell over his face. He didn’t push it aside because it was the perfect shield. “Do you know how often that type of misunderstanding happens to me? I’m not a girl. I don’t want to be a girl, but I look like one even when I don’t try to. I enjoy clichéd girly things and have a feminine way about me. It’s not something I can change. Believe me, I’ve tried. I’m tired. It’s exhausting never knowing how people will react. And you were... I thought...well, never mind what I thought. It doesn’t matter. Anyway, what difference does it make?”
“You’re right.”
Tam was taken aback. “I am?”
“I should know better. It’s not your responsibility to correct my false assumptions. If I had been someone else it could have been dangerous for you.” Driver must have seen something in his expression because he continued, “It has been dangerous for you, hasn’t it?”
Tam shuffled his bare feet and tightened his grip on the towel around his waist. What he wouldn’t give to be fully clothed right now.
Driver reached out a hand as if he wanted to comfort him, but stopped midway and let it drop. “Sorry. People suck sometimes.”
“And sometimes they surprise you.”
Driver tipped his head, his mouth curving into a wolfish grin. “I love surprises.”
Tam laughed. It was a small, closed-mouth, indulgent laugh, but still. It felt good, like a weight had been lifted and he could breathe again.
“Do you remember why you knocked on my door?”
Driver shoved a hand into his pocket and fiddled with something. “I’m sure it will come back to me eventually.”
“You need a cup of sugar?”
“Are you flirting with me?”
“No! I just...”
Driver’s laugh was loud and straight from his belly. “Just messing with you.” He turned to leave.
Tam’s chest tightened and he grasped for something, anything, to keep the conversation going. “By the way, I’m having a party tomorrow night.” Why was that the first thing he’d thought of? He didn’t have the time to analyze it now so he just ran with it as best as he could. “I’m letting all the neighbors know so they don’t call the cops for noise complaints.”
“A party?”
“Housewarming. I just moved in last week and my friends insisted. I’ll try to keep the noise down, but if we get too loud just swing by and let me know.”