Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 124451 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 622(@200wpm)___ 498(@250wpm)___ 415(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 124451 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 622(@200wpm)___ 498(@250wpm)___ 415(@300wpm)
“We are,” I say, finally looking up and meeting her broken stare. “You’re my whole fucking world, but what I did … what happened … that’s bigger than us.”
Brielle reaches for me again, but this time, she doesn’t let me pull away. She holds my hand tight, pulling it into her lap. “Tanner, talk to me. Whatever it is, we’ll get through it.”
“Can’t you see how fucking sick this makes me? You don’t understand, you’re not hearing me,” I tell her. “You will never look at me the same again. You will never love me as you do now. Everything is going to change. You’ll walk away from me, and I won’t even blame you.”
Bri shakes her head, her eyes filling with tears. “No,” she whispers, swallowing hard before climbing across the front seat and straddling my lap. She takes my face in both her hands, forcing her stare on mine. “That’s not possible, Tanner. The way I love you … this is forever. In the courthouse, when you asked me not to walk away if you ended Colby’s life, I promised you that I’d never walk away, and I fully intend to stand by that.”
My gaze drops as my world closes in on me, leaving no way out. I reach up and curl my hand around the back of her neck, and she drops her forehead to mine. “The way I see it,” she whispers, “is that this is haunting you right to your core. Whatever you did, it will destroy you if you don’t learn how to move forward. The only way to do that is to lay it all out in front of you and deal with it.” She pauses, her words weighing on both of us. “Talk to me, Tanner. I want to be here for you. I want to help you through … whatever this is, but I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s going on, and we can’t learn how to move past it until that happens.”
I meet her eyes again, and the unbreakable trust staring back is killing me. “Swear to me, Killer. Swear you won’t write me off. I’ll give you the time you need to come to terms with it, but swear that when you’re ready, you’ll come and talk to me, give me a chance to earn your trust,” I beg of her. “I don’t want to do life without you.”
Brielle leans in, her lips gently brushing over mine. “I swear,” she whispers. “I lean, you lean.”
My heart breaks knowing what I have to tell her will destroy everything we’ve built. I just hope we’re strong enough to come back from this.
Silence fills the car as I cling to her, not knowing the next time I’ll be able to hold her. A minute passes before I find the courage to say the words I’d locked away a long time ago. “After the courthouse, when I was locked up,” I start, “I think I told you that Channing came to see me?”
Bri nods slowly, her eyes locked and loaded on mine like a fucking missile ready to strike.
Letting out a breath, I continue before I convince myself to bitch out and bail. “Channing wasn’t there just to threaten me with assault charges. He wanted to permanently gain my obedience by blackmailing me with photographs from my past.”
“What kind of photographs?” she questions, her tone wary and uncertain.
“They were still shots from a security feed,” I explain, having to look away, unable to meet her blue gaze as the horrendous shame fills every part of my body. “When I was fourteen, I was involved with some guys from Hope Falls. They were older, maybe eighteen or nineteen, and saw me as the little rich kid they could exploit. They—”
“The Hardin brothers?” she questions, taking a guess as she cuts me off. I nod and she pulls back just a bit, her hands pulling into her stomach to put space between us, clearly knowing who these assholes are. “They’re part of the reason crime was so bad in Hope Falls. People were terrified of them. They would torment everyone.”
I nod, my stare locked on her hands. “I was a punk kid. My dad was away, and I guess I was acting out to get his attention. Hell, the Hardin brothers were the people who first introduced me to Colby. Though, back then, he was nothing but a stupid kid too.”
“What happened?”
“They said we were going out to have fun, put some hairs on my fucking chest. I figured it was a party or some shit like that, but when we got there, the house was dark. No lights were on, no music, and there weren’t any people around. I knew something was going on, but I had no clue. They promised me a good night, so I blindly followed them.”