Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 88646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 443(@200wpm)___ 355(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 443(@200wpm)___ 355(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
And now . . .
This wasn’t her plan. No way. She couldn’t wait to get to college.
Am I somehow responsible for this?
Did I hurt her that bad?
No, she’s too strong for that. Too fierce.
There’s a wolf underneath the lamb she appears to be.
Yeah.
The only person I ruined was my brother.
I don’t know where the thought comes from. I thought I’d stuffed them so far down they’d never come up, but they do.
Anguish ripples over me like a tsunami.
I squeeze my eyes closed to shut it out, but it rises higher and higher.
Kurt was the real deal.
Valedictorian, Kappa, athletic.
His hair was blond, his eyes blue, like my mother’s.
At fifteen, I didn’t know the demons that haunted him. No, the whole truth would come out after his death. The night he was killed, he was home for Christmas and wanted to make a stop before we went to the movies. We drove to a small dingy trailer on the outskirts of town and I sat in the car while he went inside. Sure, I noticed he seemed different. Moodier. Thinner.
After half an hour passed, I got worried we’d miss the movie, so I got out of the car and walked in the house without knocking.
Shadowy images flash in my mind.
My perfect brother sitting on a couch as he shot up heroin. A wiry guy yanking out a gun and pointing it at me. The bang that made my ears ring. Kurt on the floor with blood blooming on his chest. He’d jumped in front of me and taken the bullet.
A shuddery breath comes from me.
I shouldn’t have walked in.
He’s gone and I’m still here—dealing with it.
It’s why I paid off that man for Julia.
It’s why I’m worried about her. Well, not the only reason. I feel as if I might owe her something? Jesus. It’s confusing.
I get up and move toward the stage. Weaving through tables and dodging waitresses, I reach the edge and stop.
“Julia,” I say, loud enough to be heard over the music.
When she focuses on me, a wrinkle appears on her forehead and she loses a step. She moves to the other side of the stage and mouths, Go away.
“I need to talk to you,” I say, following her. Some guy is waving cash at her and she reaches down and swipes it from his hand as the song ends.
Wobbling in her heels, she heads for the back of the stage.
“Wait a minute,” I call, but she’s already gone.
I scan the area and see a door that must lead to the back where the girls change. I stalk over to it, but two beefy men on either side grab me by the arm.
“Where do you think you’re going?” one of them says as he eyes me up and down.
I point to the back. “Julia. I just wanted to—”
“Not tonight, Loverboy.” He puts a hand on my chest as he backs me up. He grins behind a bushy brown beard. “If you want a private dance, check in with the bouncer at the bar.”
“I don’t want a private dance.” I shove his hand away.
“Hey, no touching us, asshole.” The other guy grabs me from behind, and I rear back to push him off, but it doesn’t work. They pick me up like I’m a sack of feathers, carry me down the hall, then toss me out the back into an alley. I stumble onto my hands and knees in a puddle.
The door slams shut.
“Fuck!”
As I’m getting to my feet, a girl says, “Are you drunk, Hansen?”
Julia. She must have come out here before me.
She leans against the brick wall, practically swimming in a black raincoat that she hugs around her body. “You didn’t have to get thrown out, you know. I would have talked to you.” A low chuckle comes from her. “Have to admit, I kind of enjoyed that.”
I brush the gravel off my jeans. “Sorry, I don’t know the rules in this place. Apparently, I need a private dance to talk to you.”
Her eyes flash with something—excitement? Not likely. She hates me.
“I guess you got lucky, then. Here I am. Don’t expect a show.”
“I don’t,” I mutter.
“Who crawled up your ass?”
I shrug. “I just got tossed out of a club that I paid twenty bucks to get into. I lasted for one song.”
She watches me fix my man-bun, amusement on her face.
“What?” I grouse. “Am I your entertainment now? You gonna toss me some dollars?”
She waves a five at me. “Dance for me. Show me what you’ve got.”
“No,” I say.
She laughs. “Sorry. I’m just not used to seeing you being towed around like a bag of potatoes.”
I grunt.
She tucks her money away. “The big question is, why are you here?”
Rain pelts my face, and I move to stand under a small overhang with her. I stare at the sparkly eyeshadow on her lids. It’s gold. “I guess . . . I wanted to know you’re okay.”