Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 88646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 443(@200wpm)___ 355(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 443(@200wpm)___ 355(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
He says it as if he’s in charge of me.
“You want to talk about that now?” I shriek.
Connor lurches to his feet, roaring angrily, and lunges at Eric. Caught off-guard, Eric stumbles back, and the two of them careen into a random shopping cart.
“Stop!” I shout. “He has a g—”
I bite my tongue. The last thing I need to do is remind Connor of his weapon.
Eric delivers a punch to the side of Connor’s head, and he falls to the pavement, moaning and disoriented.
Eric grabs my hand, gasping. “Fuck me, he’s a big dude. Come on. Run!”
I take Eric’s lead and we tear off back down the alley. All that’s running through my head is that when Connor comes to, or worse when his morning-shift people arrive, he’s going to kill me.
When we’re a block away, I twirl to face him. “Eric. Where did you come from? Did you follow me? Why did you do that?”
He flashes me that same astonished expression he had back when he did his Superman act before. “I just saved you from that man. He was feeling you up!”
My hands squeeze his as my words rush out, trying to make him understand. What he did was dangerous. And stupid. “I know it looked bad, but I had it under control. He wouldn’t have hurt me.”
His jaw tightens. “I saw him!”
I lick my lips. “Look, okay, yes, he is an awful person, b-but you don’t have a clue what you’ve gotten yourself involved in—” I stop and tremble, the terror dawning more and more. “H-he could have shot you. You could be dead and it would be all my fault!”
His brow wrinkles as his eyes hold mine. “Julia, no . . .”
“Don’t you understand? This is my life, and it’s messed up, and I can’t have any more people I’m responsible for. I can barely take care of myself. He won’t forget this, you know. I-I’ll have to face him sooner or later and pay for what happened.”
“Julia—”
“Connor doesn’t care who you are. He doesn’t care if you have money or that you play hockey.” My lashes flutter. “Eric, please. You can’t . . . you can’t be my knight in shining armor. Just. Don’t.”
“Julia!” he calls as I dash away.
“I’m not worth it” dances in my head as I flee, but I stop that line of thinking.
I am worth something and I can’t forget it.
Hitting the sidewalk on my street, I kick in what little energy I have left and hurry up the steps to the front door. I slam it behind me, shoving the deadbolt into place.
I sink to the floor and replay the scene in my head.
Eric slamming him down, Eric taking up for me.
My hands cover my face. God knows I’m so sick of weeping.
Of the knowing looks I get on campus.
Of the worry that gnaws at me like a dog with a bone. It never leaves.
I’m sick of this half-life, of being paralyzed with fear and anxiety as I push friends and emotions to the side. I’m just trying to be strong. To power through.
Why does each day seem like a battle just to stay alive?
I curl into a ball on the hardwood as I try to stop the tears, I really do, but they come, hot and wet against my cheeks. Perhaps I need this cry. It’s not like before at the park when I wept out of frustration. I need to let this doubt and uncertainty go. They rain down, a release from the adrenaline from a night that feels as if it lasted years.
My face presses against the cool floor as my shoulders shudder. A wounded sound comes from my throat as I try to keep it quiet.
I remember the shy young girl I was freshman year, the stars I had in my eyes.
The rose-colored glasses I wore.
Somedays I wake up and forget for a moment that I’m not her anymore.
Maybe the butterfly inside of me has already emerged and a storm has broken her wings.
What do I do now?
4
Eric
That’s the thanks I get?
She’s lucky I saw her when I went out for a jog. I needed to wear myself out so I could sleep. I noticed her from across the street, her face pale, her steps hurried as if someone were after her.
Most of all, I hated the slump in her shoulders.
It niggled. Pricked like a goddamn needle under my skin.
Yes, I followed her. Because I was worried.
And when I came around the corner and saw that guy with his hands on her, my body went from zero to kill.
It’s not hard to piece it together.
She was counting her money and crying for a reason. She owes him. But for what?
He’s a super bad guy, yeah, I get that, but what Julia doesn’t know is that I’ve been in this predicament before with someone else, even though I didn’t know until it was too late.