Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 81426 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81426 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Rush had come out years ago, and it had never mattered to me. He’d always been my best friend, and that would never change, but I hadn’t had any other friends in the LGBTQ community. Things were different where we grew up. There wasn’t a Fever Street or gayborhood, and when I moved to Richmond, I assumed there was one there, but Rush had been in Fever Falls by then, and I hadn’t known where it was.
And now…now I was pretty sure I was part of the LGBTQ community too. I mean, I knew I was. Having been in love with one dude and then wanting to bone another pretty much sealed the deal.
“Hey, man. What’s up?” Rush asked. I’d been spacing off and almost passed by him. “You good?” He frowned.
“Yeah, just have a lot on my mind.” Oh, you know, like how I used to be in love with you and now I’m attracted to Camden. I guess that means I’m bi!
None of those things came out of my mouth. Instead, I sat across from him and settled into the booth.
“Are you still seeing your therapist?” Rush asked.
“Yeah, but just once a month. The antidepressants help.” When I’d first moved to Fever Falls, Rush made me acknowledge I was likely depressed. Despite growing up with a father who had been depressed my whole life, I hadn’t seen it in myself. Hadn’t thought I had a reason to be sad, other than wanting Rush, but now I understood that it didn’t work that way. And I also knew there were a lot of things that bothered me, which I hadn’t acknowledged before either, like my dad, but I didn’t want to get into that. “It’s nothing like that. I’m good. Stop babying me, or I’ll throw something at you.”
Rush laughed. “You’re always throwing things at me.”
“You always deserve it,” I countered, and he chuckled again.
“Hey, guys, what’s up?” Keeg, Jace’s little brother, approached us. He waited tables part-time at Fever Pitch, and Jace worked at the fire station with Beau. I couldn’t believe how large their group of friends was. It was still something I was adjusting to. I had never been close to a lot of people before. I just didn’t work that way.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Rush asked.
“Pretty good. Owen gets back from Parlaisa tomorrow. I can’t wait.” Keegan was dating a fucking prince, which was some crazy-ass shit if you asked me.
We talked to him for a moment, and then we both ordered bacon cheeseburgers and fries, and Keegan was on his way.
“I need to get my shit together and stop eating like this,” Rush said. “January will be here before I know it.” He was a motocross racer, and people didn’t realize they were some of the most disciplined athletes there were.
“You’ll do it. You always take care of your shit.”
“That’s because I’m fucking awesome.”
I shrugged. “You’re all right.” My phone vibrated, and I pulled it out of my pocket.
Hey, Beautiful. Dinner tonight? Again, I waited for the discomfort to bubble up in me at Cam’s compliment, but it didn’t happen. I sneaked a quick reply to Camden, telling him sure.
“What are you smiling at?” Rush asked.
“Nothing.” I shook my head. Sometimes I felt like I didn’t know how to talk to Rush anymore, and I didn’t know how to change that. “You wanna go riding sometime next week?”
“I would fucking love to go riding next week. I need it.”
We started talking about Ashton and Beau’s upcoming wedding.
We were halfway through our meal when Rush said softly, “I think I wanna ask Linc.”
“Ask Linc what?”
“To marry me.”
My eyes snapped to his just as my heart dropped to my stomach. I wasn’t in love with Rush anymore. I wasn’t, and I knew he belonged with Lincoln, but I’d never considered that Rush would want to get married. “Wow, that’s…that’s great.” The words sort of stuck in my mouth, which pissed me off.
Rush glanced around, seeming uncertain, then shifted in his seat. I wasn’t sure what that was about, but I didn’t think it had to do with Lincoln. Or at least, not with how Rush felt about him. “I don’t have a plan right now or anything. I don’t even know if I’ll do it soon. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about. I’m scared it’ll freak him out.”
Somehow, I forced myself to shove my discomfort aside. In some ways, I could see where Rush was coming from. Linc had been skittish when it came to letting himself admit how he felt about Rush, but once he did, he was all in. “He loves you, man. He’ll say yes. There’s nothing Linc wants more than to spend his life with you.”
“But married? He’s never even talked about it. I’m probably out of my damn mind.”
“No.” I shook my head. “You’re not. You’re in love, and it makes us question ourselves…it can make us question everything, but that’s because it matters so damn much.” My eyes darted away. That was how it felt when I’d realized I was in love with him.