Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 65189 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65189 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
And yet… beneath the fear, a small voice whispered that I deserved this. That I needed it. The shame of my foolish actions at the press conference burned hot in my chest. I had embarrassed Lucas, potentially jeopardized his career, all because I couldn’t stay away. The weight of my transgression pressed down on me, an invisible burden I longed to be free of.
As I hugged my knees to my chest, I realized with startling clarity that I craved the absolution only Lucas could provide. The idea of submitting to his discipline, of accepting the consequences of my actions, filled me with a sense of rightness I couldn’t deny. My body tingled with a mixture of fear and anticipation, my nipples hardening against the soft fabric of my sleep shirt.
I stood on shaky legs, moving to the full-length mirror in my bedroom, unable to help taking another look to see if I could recognize myself this time. The woman who stared back at me looked wild-eyed and disheveled. My chestnut hair was a tangled mess, my green eyes wide and frantic. Dark circles shadowed my gaze, testament to the sleepless night I’d endured. My skin looked pale and drawn, save for two bright spots of color high on my cheekbones.
As I studied myself, a strange calm began to settle over me. The wild, panicked look in my eyes slowly faded, replaced by something else—a kind of clarity I hadn’t felt in days. My racing thoughts stilled, and in the quiet of my mind, a truth I’d been desperately trying to ignore finally surfaced.
I needed Lucas.
Not just his touch, his kisses, or even the mind-blowing sex. I needed his guidance, his firm hand, his unwavering authority. The realization hit me like a physical blow, leaving me breathless.
My eyes widened as I confronted this truth. I thought of how lost I’d felt these past days without Lucas’ steady presence. How adrift I’d been without his commands, his expectations to meet. Even my studies, usually a source of comfort and purpose, had felt hollow and meaningless.
A memory flashed through my mind—Lucas praising me for the way I’d explained my interest in peasant life in the medieval period. The warmth that had blossomed in my chest at his approval, the deep sense of satisfaction I’d felt at pleasing him.
Pondering my reflection and the truth of my feelings, another realization struck me. The idea of a traditional marriage, which had seemed so oppressive and antiquated before, suddenly took on a new light.
I imagined myself as Lucas’ wife, not as some subservient doormat, but as his cherished partner. I saw myself pursuing my academic passions with his full support and encouragement. But I also saw myself submitting to his authority in the bedroom, reveling in the exquisite pleasure-pain of his discipline. I imagined cooking dinner for him after a long day of research, then kneeling at his feet as he fed me bites from his plate.
The image sent a shiver of desire through me, my core clenching with need. I realized that this was what I truly wanted—to be Lucas’ well-disciplined, thoroughly fucked, and deeply loved wife.
My eyes widened at the thought. It went against everything I’d been taught to believe about relationships and gender roles. And yet… it felt right in a way nothing else ever had.
I glanced at the clock, my heart rate picking up as I saw it was nearly time for Lucas to arrive. Despite my newfound clarity, fear still coiled in my belly at the thought of the punishment to come. I knew it would hurt—Lucas never did anything by halves. But I also knew I needed it, craved it even.
I heard a commotion, down below: pleading shouts whose words I couldn’t quite make out, except “Lucas! Lucas!”, which was common to every voice.
My heart began to race as I heard them getting louder, more frantic. Lucas had arrived, and he must not have simply driven by when he saw the press… he must have stopped, must have gotten out of his limo. I moved to the window, peering cautiously through the curtains. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him striding purposefully through the crowd of paparazzi, his face set in a mask of stern determination.
CHAPTER 24
Alice
The photographers swarmed around him, shouting questions and jostling for position. But Lucas moved through them as if they were little more than an inconvenience, his ice-blue eyes fixed on the entrance to my building. I saw him reach for his phone, and a moment later I heard the soft chime of the SA app unlocking my front door.
I backed away from the window, my legs trembling beneath me. My mind raced with conflicting impulses—part of me wanted to run, to hide, to escape the punishment I knew was coming. But a stronger part, the part that had finally acknowledged my true desires, kept me rooted to the spot.