Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79963 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79963 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
“Don’t touch me,” I yelled. “I can’t believe you did that to me. How could you? I thought you were a difficult man, but a good man. I was wrong. You are a monster. A heartless cruel monster. You used me.”
I pulled my hand out of his slack grip and ran from his home.
My eyes were so full of water I couldn’t see properly and I had to stop my car by the side of the road, but I actually felt nothing. I was numb.
I looked at myself in the rearview mirror. My face was white with disbelief.
How could I have been so wrong, so blind about him? But it all made sense now. All of it. The way he blew hot and cold. The little odd questions. I cringed when I thought about the uninhibited way I responded to him sexually. I’d given him everything. I never held anything back.
And he had betrayed me. The betrayal was spectacular, so unexpected, so completely that I felt numb with shock.
I blinked and the tears that were pooling in my eyes ran down my face. I wiped them away with the back of my hand.
I couldn’t go back to my apartment. I couldn’t go anywhere where he’d been. I wanted to call Maggie, but I knew she was spending the day with Martin. I drove to my mother’s place. Having coffee with my mother should help.
I saw Rose’s car parked on the street and had to press my lips together to control the trembling. I was determined not to let my mother see what state I was in. I was going to pretend everything was okay until I could figure out what I was going to do.
I put the key in the door and entered.
My mother was sitting with Rose on the couch looking through old photograph albums she had unearthed while packing her stuff.
“There you are, honey. Come in, and see this. Remember this?” my mother asked, holding up an old photograph of the four of us on a beach holiday.
Rose and I were grinning at the camera, our scrawny ten and twelve-year-old bodies, and our hair wet from the ocean. I shifted my gaze to my dad and all of a sudden, a great wave of sadness came over me. I missed him so much. Missed his sound advice and his willingness to always listen.
“I remember that day,” I said, my voice trembling. “God, I miss Dad.”
Mom smiled mistily. “He would be so proud of you.” She closed the album and put it in a crate.
A lump came to my throat. “Are you not going to take that with you?”
“Yes, this crate is coming with me.”
I nodded.
Mom planned to put most of her furniture into storage and to sort them out at a later date. Sell the ones she didn’t want to keep. She wanted to keep the furniture to a minimum in the new cottage and I agreed with her. There was something neat and healthy about lots of open spaces and natural light.
“I’m taking you for a drink,” Rose said, staring at me penetratingly. I’m sure the baby sister won’t mind watching the girls for another hour or so.”
“Yeah, why not.” I hadn’t thought it possible to be so consumed by thoughts of a man. He filled my brain and my thoughts like a virus.
Rose stood and came close to me. “What’s going on? You look like crap,” she whispered fiercely.
“Thanks,” I said in a dry tone.
I got into my car and followed her, my mind finally and strangely quiet. It reminded me of the calm before the storm.
“Holly Hell,” my sister gasped.
I sniffed. “I know. He used me, Rose. I was so stupid I never imagined.”
Her head jerked back. “That’s not what I meant at all. You’re my sister and I love you to death, but hang on a minute.”
“Oh my God! You’re going to try and see it from his point of view, aren’t you?” I asked incredulously.
“As a matter of fact, yes, I am. Look. Put yourself in his shoes. What would you have done?”
“I wouldn’t have slept with me,” I snapped.
“Even that is a credit to him and how deeply he must feel for you. He thought you were his enemy and he still couldn’t help himself from sleeping with you. The man must have it really bad.”
“Have you not listened to a word I said?” I asked angrily. “He was sleeping with me because he was trying to find out if I was the leak.”
“Bullshit,” she said authoritatively. “He was already working on it. He didn’t need you to accidentally slip up and confess at all. He slept with you because he desperately wanted to.”
I leaned back and stared at my sister. “You’re wrong.”
“How hard did you slap him?” she asked curiously.
“So hard my hand is still stinging,” I said.