Total pages in book: 362
Estimated words: 347293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1736(@200wpm)___ 1389(@250wpm)___ 1158(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 347293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1736(@200wpm)___ 1389(@250wpm)___ 1158(@300wpm)
I turned as he went to the small table and picked up the water pitcher. “I can’t deny that, but it doesn’t change what needs to be done,” I said.
“Not to sound repetitive, but it changes everything.” He poured two glasses. “We can still Ascend Ione but have her come here. The other gods can also be Ascended.”
“So, that’s the plan?” I asked.
“Part of it.”
“I’m sure I can guess the rest of this really well-thought-out plan full of problems.” I tried to quell my anger. “Ione will be out of it after I Ascend her, which means she will be here, with no one in her Court.”
He set the pitcher down. “We can send guards there.”
“Guards that none of the gods in her Court are familiar with,” I reasoned. “She needs to be in her Court with people both Keella and she trusts, which means I need to do what is expected of the true Primal of Life.” I stared at his back. “And you need to be okay with that.”
The hand at his side fisted. “Me being okay with you endangering yourself and our children is impossible.”
“Then you need to not stand in my way and deal with it,” I told him. “Because the only thing that is truly a danger to me is Kolis.”
He faced me, the flesh along his jaw and cheekbones mottled with shadows. “I will handle him.”
“You cannot handle him without me,” I said. “And you know that. The fact that you know that is one of the many, many reasons I love you, so don’t say you can.”
He came forward and handed me a glass. The scent of strawberries reached me. “One of those reasons should be because I am willing to do anything to protect you and our children.”
“It is,” I insisted. “And, admittedly, you doing the growly thing was a little hot.”
Ash smirked as he lifted his glass. “Knew it.”
“But also annoying,” I tacked on, taking a drink. “And yes, you wanting to protect us is one of those reasons, but your willingness to get yourself killed in the process is not.”
Ash huffed. “I will not get myself killed.”
“I know you will do everything possible to ensure that doesn’t happen, but I also know Kolis will take the first chance he gets to kill you, and he can do it.” My chest seized with real fear, and I didn’t stop myself from feeling it. I wanted Ash to pick up on it, and I knew he did because he inhaled sharply, and the shadows deepened in his flesh. “You felt that?”
Ash said nothing.
“I know you did.” My grip tightened on the glass. “The idea of you going after Kolis—going after any of the Primals without me—is terrifying. And yes, we can worry about the risks I’m taking, but what about the risks you’re taking? What do you think you being injured or worse would do to me? To the lives I carry inside me? I cannot do any of this without you.”
“You will not lose me.” He clasped the back of my head with his free hand. “Never.”
“Do you promise?”
“With every breath I take and every beat of my heart,” he swore.
“Then to honor that, you know what must be done,” I reasoned. “I need to fight beside you. And I need you to support that because you will not stop me from doing so.”
The air around us dropped several degrees and charged, but I held his stare. “I don’t want us to fight. Neither of us needs that. We need to stand together against Kolis. Not separate. I don’t need you to want this. I need you to understand that this is how we ensure we have a future with our children.”
Ash cursed and dropped his hand. He stepped back, the energy ramping up within him, stoking the eather inside me. “You know, I thought you asking me to take you to your lake was the hardest thing that would ever be asked of me.” He turned fast and sharp, throwing his drink at the wall. The glass shattered, raining water and shards across the floor. “I was wrong.”
My heart twisted and ached as I lifted my gaze from the mess to his rigid back. Wisps of eather drifted from his shoulders.
“You asking me to end your life was a nightmare made real,” he said, his voice thin and icy. “But this…”
“This is not worse.” I set my glass on the nightstand. “This is just reality.” I walked toward him. “I’m sorry, Ash. I wish we didn’t even need to have this conversation. I wish things were different. I want things to be different for us. I want to spend being pregnant worrying about being a good mother or how painful birth will be. I don’t want to spend it worrying about what new horrific act Kolis will commit—and that is if I’m lucky. Because if we’re not? It’s over. It’s all over. I will lose control. I will take Kolis out or die trying—”