Total pages in book: 362
Estimated words: 347293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1736(@200wpm)___ 1389(@250wpm)___ 1158(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 347293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1736(@200wpm)___ 1389(@250wpm)___ 1158(@300wpm)
“I’m not sure I even know what it’s like,” I admitted. “But I was just…I was just thinking about knowing when to use the ability to restore life and when not to. Like I can’t bring everyone back, but if it really is in my nature, how do I stop it? How do I decide—and I hate using this word—but how do I decide who deserves it and who doesn’t?”
You don’t.
I stiffened. The voice that whispered in my thoughts was mine, and the knowledge came from my Ascension. “It’s not the Primal of Life’s place to intervene in the natural order of things,” I whispered, but…that was bullshit. “What was natural about how Ector and Orphine died?” I turned to Aios. “Or you. There was nothing natural about what Kyn did when he attacked the Shadowlands. That can’t be a part of the natural order of things.”
“There was nothing natural about any of that. What Kyn did was unnecessarily cruel,” she said, and knowing what I did about the Primal, I didn’t doubt that for a moment. “I should’ve stayed inside.” Tears built in her eyes, clouding the pulse of eather. “I don’t know what I was thinking when I went out there. I’m not trained to fight like you and Bele, but I thought I could at least help the wounded get inside.”
“You’re not trained, but you had to do something,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “Wanting to help is understandable.”
She pressed her lips together. “I know, but…Kyn saw me when he entered the courtyard. He came right for me. And, Fates, I still don’t understand why. He knows I’m not a fighter—that I was no threat to him—but he grabbed me and dragged me toward the pikes where the dakkais were feeding on some of the restrained who were still alive.” She sucked in a sharp breath. Closing her eyes, she shook her head. I waited in silence until she could speak again, knowing she was seeing in her mind what I was. The lives lost on those pikes, their bodies brutalized in unimaginable ways. Except she’d been there when it happened. “In all the years I’ve lived, I’ve never witnessed anything like that. Not even in Dalos. Not even from Kolis.”
There was a good chance I stopped breathing. I was betting that Kyn had gone for her because of her time spent held against her will by Kolis. And I also wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Kolis had offered Aios to Kyn at some point.
Her fingers twisted the chain at her throat. “Ector saw it happening and tried to stop Kyn, even though he knew he shouldn’t. Ector got Kyn good, though. Nearly took his arm off.” She hastily wiped her palm over her cheek. “Ector’s death was quick. At least, there was that.”
Hearing that did bring me some peace, but it didn’t dampen my building fury.
Aios cleared her throat. “Kyn may have been following orders to attack the Shadowlands, but he enjoyed it. He likes the pain and fear he inflicts.”
Anger rushed to the surface, and I was suddenly standing before I even realized it. The corners of my vision turned a silvery white. “Tell me I can’t go to Vathi and rip out Kyn’s innards.”
“You probably shouldn’t do that.”
Energy throbbed through me, charging the air. My skin heated. The chandelier began to swing as eather crackled along my skin. “Probably?” That one word dropped from my lips like a clap of thunder, causing Aios to jolt.
“Okay.” She drew out the word. “You definitely shouldn’t.”
“I shouldn’t,” I hissed. My hands closed into fists as I closed my eyes, counting just as I had in the gilded cage while I sat in that bath. Just as I had when I drove the Ancient bone into Kolis. And as I counted, I willed the essence to calm. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. I opened my eyes. The chandelier no longer swayed. “It would be very un-Primal of Life-like behavior if I did.”
“Uh-huh.” Aios watched me sit back down. “By the way, your eyes sort of changed color there for a few moments.”
“Really?”
She nodded. “The green turned gold. Your eyes were gold and silver.”
I opened my mouth, but all I could say was, “Oh.”
“They’re back to green and silver now.” Aios paused. “Your voice also did something different. You spoke out loud, but it was a breathy, hot sound. I know that sounds weird, but that’s how it felt. And I also—”
“There’s more?”
She nodded tentatively. “I heard your voice inside my head.”
My chest clenched. “I don’t know how or why that happened.”
“I think you might’ve been going full Primal of Life.”
“Did I physically change in appearance?” I asked, thinking about how Ash looked when he did. Then I thought about Kolis in his full Primal form. “Please, tell me I didn’t turn into a skeleton.”