Total pages in book: 362
Estimated words: 347293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1736(@200wpm)___ 1389(@250wpm)___ 1158(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 347293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1736(@200wpm)___ 1389(@250wpm)___ 1158(@300wpm)
He opened his mouth but didn’t speak.
My throat still felt dry and tight. “I started putting things together and realized I was late. Like really late. And with the nausea and everything…”
“How…how far along are we?” he asked, and my entire body shook. We. Not you. We. “Aios would’ve been able to see that.”
“She…she did.” My eyes stung even more now, but I wasn’t sure if it was from relief or if I was about to have a breakdown. “She thinks I’m about three months along.”
His lips parted again, and that uncomfortable silence fell once more.
I swallowed, unable to bear the quiet. “Earlier today, I remembered the dream I had in stasis—when I saw my nota. I’d been trying to remember it,” I rushed on. “I didn’t only see my nota. I saw two cubs on the bank of my lake. I don’t know if it was a vision or something, but I didn’t tell you when you checked on me before the meeting because I wasn’t a hundred percent sure, and—”
“Two?” he croaked. “You saw two…cubs?”
The flames danced erratically once more. “You sure you don’t want to get out of the pool?”
“Two?” he repeated.
“Yeah. Sorry. I hadn’t gotten to that part yet. I probably should’ve just broken the news all at once.” I wet my lips, and Ash went completely still yet again. “But, yes. Two. Aios also confirmed that. And I know this is overwhelming and will likely sound a little insane, but I think—no, I know—I love them already. I don’t know how. I’ve never wanted children or honestly even liked being around them—fuck, I didn’t really think about it, but I’m not getting rid of them because they are ours. They’re—” My voice cracked again. “They’re mine.”
Ash was silent again. He stared down at me, his eyes still wide.
I wished I knew what he felt—what was going through his head. “What are you thinking?” I asked, my voice sounding entirely too small. “Feeling?”
“What am I…?” He laughed hoarsely. “I’m shocked as fuck. I don’t know what to think. I…” He trailed off, slowly shaking his head. “With everything that has happened, I didn’t want children, didn’t want to expose them to what I experienced. So, I never really thought about the idea beyond that.”
My fingers began to ache from how tightly I gripped him.
Another tremor ran through him. “But I could’ve…I could’ve lost you.” His voice cracked, and another wave of power rippled out from him, stirring the waters. “I could’ve lost them.”
Now, I went rigid. He sounded absolutely destroyed just thinking of the possibility.
Ash’s eyes were glistening silver pools. “If I hadn’t tried to Ascend you? Or if the Ascension hadn’t worked…?” His hands shook as he slid one to the back of my head. “I would’ve lost everything and more.”
I sucked in a thin breath, too afraid to even acknowledge what his words might signify.
“I’m going to be…” He blinked rapidly, and I didn’t think the dampness on his cheeks was due to the pool water.
“Are…are you crying?” I whispered.
“I think so.” His laugh was shaky, and gods, I didn’t think anyone had ever seen Ash like this, wide-eyed and vulnerable. Wisps of eather whirled through his eyes. “I’m going to be a father?”
“Yes.”
His eyes shut, and then my feet left the floor of the pool as he lifted me. My legs tangled in the wet gown, but I managed to wrap them around his waist. He held me so close I could feel his pounding heart.
I buried my face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his fresh scent. “Does this mean you’re…happy about this?”
“Happy?” His hand ran up my back, tangling in my hair. “Fates, Sera, I…I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something more.”
What felt like a life-changing quake ran through me. “Really?”
“Yes. Really.” Ash’s hand closed around the nape of my neck. “How could I not?” His voice roughened. “When they will be a part of you. A part of us.”
I opened my mouth, but whatever I’d been about to say came out as a ragged, muffled sound. Holding on to him with everything I had in me, I squeezed my eyes shut against the tide of emotion, but I still felt a few tears slip free.
“Liessa.” Ash tilted his head, pressing his cheek against the side of my head. “Don’t cry. Please. It kills me when you do.”
“I don’t mean to cry, and gods, I think they are why I’ve been so damn emotional, too.” I struggled to rein in my emotions. “I just wasn’t sure how you would feel about it. If you were unhappy…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
He leaned his head back. “How could I ever be unhappy? You’re having my child—my children.” His chest rose swiftly as if the knowledge had hit him again. “That is a dream I never allowed myself to have,” he said, and I shuddered at his words. He pressed a kiss to my damp cheek. “You said you already love them?”