Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 101163 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101163 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
It’s Boone. I know this from the second he touches me and I’m neither mad nor relieved he thwarted my getaway. I let him turn me into his strong arms and wrap me in an all-encompassing hug.
We stand there in the pouring rain and while moments ago all I wanted to do was escape, it’s the strength of Boone’s arms and the promise he made to Aiden that he would care for me that keeps me in place.
Besides… I made a promise to Aiden too. I told him it was okay to let go and he did. All my grief is for myself, not him.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” Boone whispers over and over again, layering kisses on my soaked head.
I hear the tears in his voice and I squeeze him hard. He’s hurting too.
“It’s for the best,” I say, needing to give my thoughts a voice. I need to reassure myself it was okay to let go.
“For the best,” he agrees.
“It was so beautiful,” I sob against his chest. “I told him to let go, and he did. I felt him leave. Did you feel it?”
“I felt it,” he assures me. “And it was, indeed, beautiful. We were lucky to bear witness to it, Lilly. Not sure anything will ever be more special in my life.”
I nod my head furiously against him, because yes… that was a miracle to witness. That little boy stuck in a broken body with the spirit and fire to hang on longer, but he just… let go.
He took the brave leap and now he’s gone.
CHAPTER 34
Boone
I settle back onto the stone bench just delivered yesterday and watch Lilly as she places flowers at the base of Aiden’s headstone. It’s a warm June day and the birds are singing in the shade trees that dot the rolling hills of the cemetery where he was laid to rest three weeks ago.
The bench is courtesy of the Titans’ organization. It’s hand-carved of the same Pennsylvania bluestone that the Titans’ memorial was made from, which was an incredibly thoughtful gesture Brienne Norcross orchestrated.
The headstone is simple with just Aiden’s name, his date of birth, his date of death, and the words “Free at last” underneath.
This isn’t the first time we’ve visited the grave. It’s close to the deli and Lilly comes here a lot, with and without me.
There’s been nothing easy about losing Aiden. While I didn’t have the same emotional connection to him that Lilly and Steven had, what little I’d forged left a fucking crater inside me when he died. He’d been through so much and was defying all the odds, only to be snatched away from us in what seemed like the blink of an eye.
I have marveled over Lilly’s strength. Or maybe the right word is resilience because on that early morning when Aiden died, I saw her break in half, and there were days following that I wasn’t sure she’d come back together correctly. That week after is a blur. Steven couldn’t hold it together and hit the bottle hard the day Aiden died. I found him in their apartment when I brought Lilly there after we visited the funeral home, passed out on the couch and coated in vomit.
I marched her right past him and ordered her to shower and get into bed. I then cleaned Steven and put him in his own bed.
When I joined Lilly in her room, we not only had to talk about the funeral and the plans after but how to handle her dad.
Ultimately, it all worked out. The funeral was held three days after Aiden died and I was one of the pallbearers. Coen, Drake, Stone, Kirill and Bain were the other five. Steven didn’t want to carry the coffin, instead preferring to stay by Lilly’s side. I’m not sure if that was to be a support to her or for her to be a support to him. Whatever it was, Lilly bore it like she always does—the strongest spine of the Hoffman family.
Steven entered inpatient rehab the day after the funeral and he gets out in five days. We visit him when we can and he seems to be doing well.
“Aiden hated flowers,” Lilly says, knocking me out of my thoughts. She glances at me over her shoulder. “Why did I even bother? I should have just brought Twizzlers and some hockey pucks.”
Smiling, I shake my head. “They make the grave look beautiful. And guess what… these memorials—the headstone, the bench, the flowers—they’re as much for you as they are for him. But next time, we’ll bring Twizzlers.”
Lilly smiles and it’s so serene and peaceful, I know she’s accepted Aiden’s death. She still cries and sometimes gets pissed about the unfairness of it, and I let her take it out on me. Like I told her before, I will always shoulder that for her because everyone else always depends on her.