Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 69398 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69398 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
He killed his own mother.
His mother.
I feel sick.
Tears roll down my cheeks as I make a hiccupping sound. “I trusted you, Bohdi. Out of all the people in this world, you were the one I trusted and you lied to me. You lied right to my face. You had so many chances to tell me the truth, to let me know who you were and you chose not to. You kept it all hidden and let me believe a version of yourself that wasn’t real. I can’t see you again. Ever.”
“Merleigh,” he says, his voice croaky. “You gotta listen to me, it’s not what you think. It was an accident. I didn’t fuckin’ mean to kill her. She was attacking me and I pushed her off ...”
“So you threw her body into the ocean?” I whisper hiss. “Instead of going to the police and telling them it was self-defense?”
“You think they would have believed me?” he roars, throwing his hands up. “You think they would have listened to a young fuckin’ man who had no hope? They wouldn’t have, and I would have spent the rest of my fucking life in prison. Sorry if I chose to be free, you out of everyone should understand how that fucking feels.”
His words hit me right in the chest, and I shake my head furiously. “You dumped your mother into the ocean. She deserved more than that.”
“Did she?” he growls, glaring at me. “How the fuck do you know what she deserved? You know nothing about my life.”
“Because you never told me!” I scream.
I never scream. I never raise my voice. I never speak louder than a soft whisper. Bohdi jerks and takes a step back. My heart is racing, and I can’t stop it. I can’t stop the pain and anguish spewing from my soul. Things I’ve kept inside for so damned long I forgot what it feels like not to carry them around.
“Look at how you’re handling it, and you wonder why I never told you,” Bohdi says, his voice suddenly scarily calm.
“I’m angry because you lied, because you made me believe you’re something that you’re not. If you had been honest from the start ...”
“We wouldn’t be here,” he finishes for me. “Nobody sticks around, Merleigh. Nobody loves someone as fuckin’ broken as me. You think I’m stupid enough to believe you would have just accepted it and been okay?”
Dammit.
That hurts.
It hurts so bad.
Would I have accepted it? Or would I be acting like I am right now?
I can’t think.
“I can’t be here,” I say, my voice so pained it hurts to speak. “I have to go.”
I spin on my heel and rush out, unable to breathe. I can’t do this anymore, any of this, it’s too hard. It’s not supposed to be this damned hard.
“Merleigh, stop, hey.”
Alarick stops me at the gate, his eyes narrowed with concern.
“Please, Alarick, let me go. I can’t be here anymore.”
“You’re in a bad way, you need to talk to someone.”
“I need to get out of here.”
He grabs my arm, but I jerk it back with an anguished cry. He lets me go immediately.
“I’m sorry,” I sob. “Please.”
I run to Carson’s car, not thinking.
I don’t even wait for him. To be honest, I’m not even thinking about him at all. I just need to get out of there.
“Merleigh!” he calls, running over. “Hey, wait.”
“I need to be alone, Carson,” I say, my voice shaking. “Can I take your car?”
“I can’t let you drive like this, you’re in a state.”
“I’m only going up the road, to calm down. Please, I’m begging you.”
He hesitates, then he hands me the keys. “Okay, I’ll get a ride back and meet you at the cabin soon. Don’t go far, Merleigh, it’s dangerous.”
I nod and get into the car, reversing out. I get onto the road, and the tears burst forth.
Carson is right, I shouldn’t be driving, but I needed to get out of there, and I needed to do it alone.
I drive and drive, tears rolling, heart breaking.
I don’t know what hurts me more, that Bohdi lied or that he did something like that. Maybe I should have given him a chance to explain, maybe I am being too harsh, and maybe I just can’t deal with any more pain.
I don’t know.
Rain starts pouring down, and it’s then that I realize I’ve been driving for over an hour. I don’t even know where I am. I wasn’t paying attention. Terrified, I pull over, panting. I could have hurt someone, killed someone ... or even myself. What the hell was I thinking?
The rain continues to pour down, and the urge to go and stand in it is rather strong. I get out of the car and the cold droplets hit my body. I’ve always loved the rain, the way it made me feel like I could wash anything away. Standing under the shower mother nature has provided is one of the best feelings in this world.