Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 86823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
My heart stuttered in my chest when he mentioned Leanne had miscarried his baby. “Were . . .” I drew in a deep breath, preparing myself for the answer to my question, “were you excited that she was pregnant with your baby?”
He shook his head no. “It may seem like I’m lying to you, but no, I wasn’t excited. I wasn’t mentally stable at the time. The pain I inflicted upon her was proof that I wasn’t stable enough to be a dad. I didn’t want to bring a child into the kind of environment where I had absolutely no control over myself and my reactions to shit.”
I bit my lip. So, he had lost control over his anger today. Did that mean he was no longer excited about our baby? “You don’t feel like that about our child, do you?” I whispered, my hand instantly fluttering to my belly. I didn’t want him resenting our baby. He had been so excited about it.
He tightly held me to him. “I could never feel like that about our child, Katie. I love this baby even though we just found out about it. I’d do anything in the world for it.” He blew out a soft breath. “Besides, I may have lost control over my anger when you stormed out of the living room, but I was able to gain control back quickly when I looked into your eyes. All I could picture was you blaming me if I hurt you too badly and running away.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the movement. “You mean everything to me, and I don’t want to lose you.”
“I would never leave you,” I confessed in a whisper. “You know that, right?”
He could hurt me, beat me, do the same thing he did to Leanne to me, and I would still be here by his side because Travis needed someone. Travis needed me by his side to help him and show him that he was capable of being okay and getting better.
Was it a fucked up decision? Probably. But I was just as fucked up as he was.
He sighed. “It’ll take me some time to trust those words, considering the one woman I had trusted completely ran out on me when I needed help the most.” He sighed, looking up at the ceiling as his eyes swarmed with a lingering sadness and remembrance of abandonment. I pressed my lips to his chest. “What’s fucked up is that I broke down and started crying during our last session when I had made her side bleed using a whip. I understand she was scared because things were always going so far, but I literally dropped to my knees and sobbed when I saw what I had done to her. I wanted help. I begged her to help me, and she told me there was no hope for me, that I was too far gone, and she ran to the cops.”
I wrapped my arm around him and kissed his chest again. “I would never run out on you, Travis. Even if sex becomes what it was like between you two, I wouldn’t run out on you. I would get you the help that you needed because that’s what I’m supposed to do as your woman.”
He was silent for a little while. “You’re amazing, you know that?” Travis whispered, kissing my temple.
I smirked over at him, making him chuckle. “So, I’ve been told.”
He chuckled and flipped us over so that he was between my legs. He slowly pushed into me, teasing me. I knew he was teasing me because he was smirking down at my frustrated face. I wasn’t a girl for slow. I wanted it rough.
I wrapped my legs around him and yanked him down so he thrust into me completely. I threw my head back and moaned at the same time he groaned my name, his arms shaking beside my head. “For fuck’s sake, you are one impatient woman,” he growled, leaning down to bury his face in my neck. “You better hold on to the damn headboard.”
I did as he instructed, and he pounded into me relentlessly. My sweaty hands eventually slipped, and I wrapped them around his neck tightly, holding on to him for the rough ride we were both on. I had to ground myself to something because this man had me feeling as if I were flying to cloud nine.
He wrapped his arms around me and continued to pound into me. My moans, his grunts, and our heavy breathing filled the room. When I started to come around his cock, I screamed his name, digging my nails into his back. He shouted when he came inside of me.
Jesus, would fucking him always be this goddamn amazing?
We lay in bed together after, breathing heavily. I swear, Travis was going to end up being the death of me.