Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 69945 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 350(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 233(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69945 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 350(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 233(@300wpm)
I was rarely around anyone like that. For years I was rarely around anyone at all, but now I saw my sons often. Had they really softened me enough that I could befriend other people? Did I want that? Did I want to feel more than I had?
No, that would be too fucking painful. I didn’t want to think about friends—or lovers.
Corey was far too young for me, and he didn’t belong in my world. Whatever spark of excitement I felt around him was some weird, momentary thing. Being forced to deal with all his sunshiny-ness was fucking with my brain.
I rolled over and closed my eyes, determined to fall asleep. There were still some things in my life I could control, just not as many as there used to be. I hated that sleep was no longer one of them.
I used to be able to fall asleep in a matter of seconds and wake up the moment I heard an unfamiliar noise, but good sleep had become rare these days. I closed my eyes and tried counting backward. Next I tried saying prayers that used to mean something to me when I was a child. I even tried counting fucking sheep which quickly became fugitives on the run from me. Even counting kill shots didn’t work.
I threw back the covers and walked into the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower would help. I found the burn of the water soothing, at least in the areas where I still had feeling.
Fuck Lisa and all she had done.
As I reached for the lever that would start the water flowing, I heard something outside. It was a soft sound. It might have been something as small as the brush of a bird’s wing against a tree limb, but my gut told me it was something I needed to pay attention to.
I moved silently to the bathroom’s narrow window, lifted the edge of the curtain, and glanced down. I was looking onto the courtyard behind my house where I’d stood earlier with Corey.
I saw nothing but darkness. I didn’t want to turn on the lights out there because if anyone was moving around it would alert them. If someone was here, they owed me some answers, and I wanted the element of surprise to capture them. These days, I depended on it. My aim was as good as ever, but my movements were no longer so quick.
I waited because it paid to study the shadows. I’d learned to sense any kind of movement, no matter how hard it was to see, even if it was just darkness moving in the darkness.
For the space of several breaths, there was nothing.
Then I heard the same sound again and sensed a sudden movement.
I grabbed my cane and began to make my way down the hall. I needed to look from the first floor. I wanted to be able to make it down the stairs without assistance, but my leg was stiff and aching, so I needed the extra support. There was no way I’d be able to do it silently. My instincts told me there were not intruders in the house, but something still felt off.
I made my way to the elevator I’d had it installed when I’d first moved here from the hospital. I hadn’t told Corey about it because I only used it when I was really hurting. I refused to become dependent on it. My leg needed the practice of using the stairs, but now wasn’t the time. I bit my lip as I took each painful step down the hall.
When the elevator doors opened on the ground floor, I walked to a window that opened into the courtyard and looked out from the side of the curtain like I’d done upstairs.
This time, I could see more clearly. There was a dark form making its way over the back fence. I flicked on the light, hoping to see what it was. It looked too small to be a person, but the hair on the back of my neck was standing up, telling me a threat was near.
I let out a breath when I saw a family of raccoons making their way out of my yard.
Fuck. Had my instincts gone that wrong? Maybe I really wasn’t able to take care of Corey.
No, that wasn’t true. My mind was as sharp as it had ever been. The sense of danger still hung in the air. There was no mistaking the certainty that Corey and I weren’t safe.
I opened the door and stepped into the yard. Using the flashlight on my phone, I began to explore the area where I’d heard the noises. In seconds I saw the evidence that my instincts were right as usual. Directly under the window of my bathroom there were several large footprints. Human, not raccoon. I continued toward the fence, looking for more. They weren’t as clear, but I could see where the grass had been pushed down by a man’s boot. The last print was next to the fence close to where the raccoons had gone over.