Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 107595 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 430(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107595 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 430(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
From disbelief, to rage, to disappointment.
He never told anyone, but he sat on that porch and fucking cried like a goddamn baby.
He wanted to know his son and he wanted his son to know him. And he was denied that all because the woman who bore him that son was on an evil power trip.
He had sat there until he got his shit together and, once he did, he went knocking on doors.
“Neighbor said she’d flown to Orlando to take her son on vacation. Her fuckin’ son. She took the son I hardly knew on vacation to avoid me. Damn sure Ry had no idea his father was standin’ on the porch of an empty house dyin’ to see him. Rode all that fuckin’ way. The whole trip, kept in touch with that bitch, too. Told her when I’d get there, so it wasn’t a surprise. She had the whole thing planned. Now that was a damn cunt move.” He drew his hand over his eyes, tamping down that anger. “Never answered one goddamn text or call. She even went so far as to block my number when I blew up her damn phone. Guess she figured eventually I’d give up.”
“You didn’t.”
“Fuck no. Not then, at least. Scared as fuck to fly. But the second time I went out there, got on a plane. Had Deke go with me. Don’t mind two or four wheels, but no wheels ain’t for me. Wasn’t born a bird, was never meant to fly.”
“Fear of flying is a real phobia,” she said softly.
“Know it. But did it anyway. Only puked twice when I flew the fuck out to California. That time I didn’t let her know I was comin’. Kept it a fuckin’ secret. Waited ‘til summer, for the month I was supposed to have him accordin’ to the visitation agreement. Got out there, thought I was finally gettin’ a shot at seein’ my boy and that cunt had us arrested for trespassin’ when we showed up at the door. Told the pigs we tried to hurt her and force our way into the house. Luckily, the charges didn’t stick but by then, the damage was done. By the time we got released, she had time to split town with Ry and I never got to see him.”
“I don’t understand it.”
“Yeah, me neither. It’s just her bein’ a petty bitch.”
“Petty? Oh no, it’s more than that. She trapped you into marriage by getting pregnant. You do the right thing, then realize it’s the wrong thing. That drives you to do the wrong thing and she blames you for everything.”
“Basically. Not blameless in all that shit, though.”
“No, you’re not.”
Judge grimaced. “Like I said, the marriage was bad but that’s still no excuse for what I did. Even so, would let her kick me in the fuckin’ nuts every fuckin’ day just to see my kid, raise him, watch him grow. Got fucked outta all of that.” He closed his eyes because they got that sting in them when he thought about what he missed out on with Ry.
Cassie cupped his cheek and waited. As if she knew he was struggling.
He kept them closed when she traced the tattoo of Henry’s name on his side. She took her time and ran her fingertip around the outline of each letter. She outlined the last two letters of his name twice. Ry.
It wasn’t his choice to name him Henry. It was Jen’s because it was her father’s name. So, Judge never called him that. He made the name his own.
When she was done, she asked, “You don’t talk to Ry at all?”
“She shut me out for the longest time. When he was eight, I mailed out a prepaid cell phone for his birthday so I could talk to him. Know Jen got it ‘cause she signed for the package but no one ever answered it. Now he’s older, I call him for his birthday and Christmas and leave a message. I send a text once a month. I tell him he can call me anytime. He can reach out if he needs anything or just needs to talk. I let him know my address every time I move. I ask him to call me back, to just respond so I know he’s gettin’ the messages.”
“And he doesn’t?”
“Not once.” Jen wanted to fuck up Judge’s relationship with his son out of spite. She succeeded.
“I’m sorry.”
“My fault, too. Should’ve pushed harder. But I let her win. She wanted me out of her life because I wanted her out of mine. The problem was, Ry got caught in the middle.”
“How old is he now?”
This was when the knife always twisted the most painfully. “Seventeen.” Jen had taken off to California before he’d turned one. He was now at an age where he could think for himself. And that was what hurt the most.