Total pages in book: 171
Estimated words: 162003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 810(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 162003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 810(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
When the opportunity arose on Wednesday, I cornered Matt in the break room at lunch.
“What’s up with you?” I asked, planting myself against the counter while he unwrapped a sandwich.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you’ve been avoiding me all week. Does this have anything to do with what happened at the bar last weekend? Did Mr. Bennett say something to you?”
He gave me a disapproving glance as he took a big bite of his sandwich.
“I’m not avoiding you, Brighton,” he said. “I’ve just been busy.”
“Oh.” I blinked.
The room was stuffy, and Matt wouldn’t take his eyes off his sandwich. I couldn’t stand the silence or the feeling that I was the only one who didn’t know what was going on, so I turned to leave.
“Wait.” Matt sighed.
I turned back to him, and his eyes darted around before he leaned a little closer, gesturing for me to sit down. I did.
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on,” he said in a quiet voice. “Ryland told Nicole that he was there because she forgot to turn in some paperwork when she left work.”
I studied his face and tried to decipher what he wasn’t saying. It wasn’t too hard to guess.
“You don’t believe that.”
His eyes shot up to mine, and he ran an anxious hand through his hair.
“I don’t know what I believe anymore. But Nicole doesn’t do drugs. Ever. So whatever was going on that night, it wasn’t her.”
“Of course.” I gave him a tight smile.
Over the past few weeks, I’d realized myself that things with Nicole were never black and white. The girl had a lot of secrets, and a darkness I was only just beginning to see. I would have liked to say she was my friend, but at the end of the day, I hardly knew anything about her. She seemed to prefer it that way.
But to put Matt’s mind at ease, I told him what he needed to hear at the moment, whether it was wrong or right.
“I’m sure she was just stressed,” I assured him. “And after what happened to Tom, I doubt she’d ever consider it again.”
“You’re probably right.” Matt frowned. “But I’d still like you to look out for her… if you don’t mind.”
“She doesn’t have a choice in the matter.” I grinned. “She’s stuck with me now.”
***
Nicole had a meeting that night, so I was left to my own devices when I came home from work. The apartment was lonely without her in it, and it made me realize how much I’d grown used to her presence.
Back in Illinois, I was usually by myself. My mom preferred to feed her addictions away from the comfort of our single wide trailer, which was one thing I guess I could be grateful for. I didn’t have to see her in that state the majority of the time, only when she decided to drag herself home once or twice a week.
I thought when I moved to California, my whole life was going to be different. And in a lot of ways, it was. I had friends, a job, a nice apartment. And I didn’t have to deal with Norma-Jean. So why did the silence feel louder than ever?
There was no way in hell I could be homesick, but I knew what was really bothering me. I missed Brayden. And I felt guilty for all the things I had that he didn’t. Since I’d moved out here, I hadn’t been writing him as much either.
He’d been trying to put distance between us since he went away. But I’d fought him every step of the way. Until now. California was changing me.
I kicked off my shoes and collapsed onto my bed with a groan. I’d put it off long enough, and I wouldn’t feel right until I’d written him. So I pulled out my stationary and chewed on the pen while I allowed my mind to wander. Every weekend, without fail, I performed this heartbreaking ritual of trying to find the right words. Words that would bring Brayden a moment of happiness, no matter how small.
He didn’t have it easy in the Greenville Correctional Center. It turned out that even prison wasn’t immune to the local headlines. For a while, it got to the point where he was coming up with all sorts of excuses to explain the bruises or broken bones. Eventually, he gave up on trying to convince me.
When I got the apprenticeship, he told me this was where I needed to be. Out living my life as far away from Illinois as I could manage. But it didn’t feel right without him.
I reached into the top drawer of my dresser and retrieved the photo I kept hidden there. It was the last night that Brayden was home. The same night I met Ryland Bennett.
Brayden was smiling as he wrapped his arm around me in a display of brotherly affection, but the heaviness in his shoulders couldn’t be missed. For as long as I could remember, he’d had the weight of the world on those shoulders. He’d taken care of me since our dad skipped town and left us with a mother who couldn’t cope.