Total pages in book: 171
Estimated words: 162003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 810(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 162003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 810(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
“You know I would never do that to you, Brighton,” Ryland said, his tone softening a fraction. “But I will have equal rights.”
“Of course,” I whispered.
“And when the baby is born, I’d like you to consider staying home. I think it would be best. And, of course, I’d take care of everything for you.”
“Right.” I nodded, my eyes burning with unshed tears. He sounded so detached. Like this was some kind of business arrangement he was making as if I had suddenly ceased to exist. It fucking hurt.
“Ted’s waiting downstairs to drive you to the apartment,” he informed me.
“I haven’t even packed yet,” I said.
“Let the movers do it,” he insisted. “I don’t want you lifting anything heavy.”
I would have protested, but I didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. I barely had the energy to muster up a fake smile for him. “Okay, Ryland.”
Chapter Nineteen
Ryland
The days bled together in a repetitive stream of work.
How this hadn’t bothered me before, I haven’t a clue. Now it all seemed tedious. Day in, day out, the dull fucking thud of my fingers on a keyboard. Tapping out texts and emails and squaring away things of a monotonous nature.
Hello hamster, meet treadmill.
Lately, I’d taken up reading to fill the mindless drat. Baby books, if you could believe that. In one of my drunken stupors, I’d apparently purchased a whole shit load of them on Amazon, with express delivery. I wanted to learn everything there was on the subject if only to prove to myself I could do this.
A knock at my door sounded, and I glanced up to catch Matt lingering there. Since our talk the week before, he’d been visiting me often. Frankly, I didn’t know what to make of it. I hadn’t a need for a friend since I was in college, but it appeared that was his end goal with these little visits.
He was a good friend to Jackson. The two of them were thick as thieves from the time they began building Lego kingdoms in middle school. Truth be told, I liked Matt. Begrudgingly, perhaps. I wasn’t in the habit of liking anyone for longer than what they could do for me.
Brash?
A little, maybe, but necessarily so. A man in my position was more accustomed to making enemies. You see, all the players in my world had their own selfish agendas. Quick to ask for a favor and even quicker to disappear when you needed it to be reciprocal. The moment the flash of the cameras went off, they were out the door and onto the next big fish.
The friends I did have made themselves scarce after my family died. They didn’t know how to handle it either. I hadn’t seen the need to replenish such trivial relationships. Now I bartered in tit for tat. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. The situation with Matt was a little out of my emotional league if I was being honest. I was trying to do something out of the good of my heart. Heh.
I’d seen the error of my ways. Nicole’s fragility could no longer be denied, and I took responsibility for that. I’d played a role in keeping her in such a dark, emotionless pit. What could I say, hell was a lonely place, and I didn’t want to be alone.
But now, I was trying to make good. Absolution and all of that. Was there any amount of holy water that could make me clean again?
“Hey man.” Matt took a seat without invitation. “How’s it going?”
I tossed the baby book aside and opted for the bottle of whiskey on my desk instead.
“Who knew the many things that could go wrong during childbirth?”
“Brighton’s tough as nails,” Matt replied. “She’s going to be just fine, Ryland.”
Easy for him to say. That wasn’t how I saw her. All I saw were potential disasters at every turn. Things that would take her away from me. Not that she was mine anymore.
I took a shot and wiggled the bottle in Matt’s direction in offering. He nodded, and I poured us both a tumbler before leaning back in my chair.
“What do you want?”
Blunt and to the point, my words were far past the point of shocking Matt anymore. He’d seen my descent. He knew this was all that remained. He expected nothing more. In a way, it made me feel at ease around him.
“I need some advice about Nicole,” he mumbled.
“And you’re asking me?” I arched a brow at him. “Have you seen the train wreck I’ve made of my life recently?”
“Okay.” Matt shrugged. “So maybe it’s not really advice I’m after. More like a favor.”
One of my least favorite words. I had the distinct impression I wasn’t going to like it in this case either. “What kind of favor?”
“You need to tell her yourself, Ryland. She’s never going to buy it if you don’t.”