Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
A few minutes go by before the texts flood in…
Kaylee: I’m sorry. I didn’t know. ((hugs))
Declan: You’re not the same person you were back then.
Braxton: We’re here for you…
Camden: You’re going to be a good dad.
Layla: I respect what she did. I would’ve done the same thing.
Kendall: If you need anything, please let us know.
Me: Thank you. I’ll let you know how it goes. Just got here.
Paul pulls around back so I can take the private entrance up to Sadie’s floor. Once we’re at the door, I tell him I’ll give him a call when I’m ready to go. When Sadie opens the door, the sleeping baby is now awake, attached to her hip, her blue eyes, identical to mine, looking at me curiously.
“Thank you for letting me come over.”
Sadie nods. “I’m sorry for being so… mean earlier. I—”
“You don’t owe me anything, least of all an apology,” I say, cutting her off. “You’re hurt and scared, and I deserved everything you said. The fact is, we barely know each other, but we share a daughter, and I’d like to get to know you both. I know I have a lot to prove, but I’m hoping you’ll give me the chance.”
She sits on the couch with Aurora, who drops her head onto her mom’s shoulder and eyes me shyly yet curiously while I sit in the chair across from them.
“I can’t believe we have a daughter,” I muse, unable to take my eyes off her. “Can you tell me about her? What’s her middle name? When’s her birthday?” There’s so much I want to know, and I feel like I don’t have enough time. It’s already almost dinnertime, and they leave in the morning.
“Her middle name is Rebekah… Aurora Rebekah Sharp, but as I mentioned before, I usually call her Rory for short.”
When she says her name, Aurora pops her head up, giving her mom an adorable toothy little smile. “Mama.” She presses her tiny hands to either side of Sadie’s face and places a loud, wet kiss on her nose, making Sadie laugh and my heart jump straight the fuck out of my chest.
“Aw, you give me kisses?” Sadie asks, her voice soft and filled with love. It makes me wonder if my mom ever spoke to me like that. The only memories I have are of her crying. She was always sad and down, never could get ahead. When I was old enough to understand how rough shit was, I can remember thinking that one day I would make enough money that she would finally be able to smile. Never got the chance, though.
Aurora answers Sadie’s question by giving her another kiss before she scrambles down and plops onto the ground, crawling over to a bin of toys.
“She’ll be one on May fourth,” Sadie says, her eyes following Aurora as she dumps a bunch of toys out and grabs one, bringing it straight to her mouth. When she seems entertained, Sadie turns her attention back to me. “Rebekah was—”
“Your baby girl,” I finish, recalling the name of the baby she lost. It’s on the gravestone, and even though I was high all the damn time back then, I remember her telling me about her.
“Yeah,” she says softly. “I wanted to honor her since she never had the chance to be part of this world.”
“It’s beautiful and perfect. And you gave her my last name?”
Pink tints her cheeks. “I did… I wanted so badly to tell you about her, but I was just so scared. When I saw on the news that you overdosed and almost died.” She swallows audibly. “I just couldn’t do it,” she breathes, tears filling her eyes. “I kept imagining what happened to Collin, happening to her, and…”
“Stop,” I tell her, crossing over to the couch and pulling her into my arms. “I hate that I missed out on the first ten months of her life and that you went through your pregnancy and giving birth without me, but you did the right thing. I’m clean now, but it was a long-ass road to get here. I’d like to think had I known about her, I would’ve gotten clean quicker, but there’s no way of knowing.”
Sadie looks up at me, and I thumb away the straggling tears resting on her cheeks. “I was so lonely and tired,” she admits, breaking my heart. “So many times, like when Rory was in the NICU, and I was scared, or when I brought her home, and she was up all night crying, and I wasn’t sure what was wrong, I wanted to reach out and tell you just so I wouldn’t be so alone, but the fear of what could happen if you showed up high was too strong.”
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I rasp, hating myself for putting her in that position, for not being the guy she needed and could count on back then. I’ve failed so many damn people in my life but letting Sadie and our daughter down hits the deepest because she’s already been hurt and let down, and when she needed someone the most, I not only pushed her away but inadvertently pushed my daughter away as well.