Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
“Okay… Well, I’m not going to run with our daughter, so just meet me at the hotel. I’m staying in room 252.”
And with that, I walk away, stroller in hand, wishing I never came back here, praying Gage really is sober, and hoping he doesn’t destroy my entire world.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
GAGE
I have a daughter. A blue-eyed, red-haired, fair-skinned, beautiful little girl. She looks like the spitting image of her mother, except she has my eyes and curly hair. I don’t know anything else about her, though. Her likes, dislikes, when her birthday is… Nothing. But that’s going to change. I never imagined having kids, especially not after…
Fuck, I just can’t believe it. When Kaylee sent me the image, I knew deep down she was mine. But I was hoping I was wrong. Because if she was right, that would mean while I was getting high, overdosing, and spending months in rehab, Sadie was growing a baby we created in her, giving birth, and raising our daughter alone.
Because I fucked up. I pushed away the first woman I’d connected with in years. I got scared and did the unforgivable. I fucked two women in my living room, knowing Sadie would see. Knowing it would hurt her, and she would walk away from me. I couldn’t even tell you what either of them looked like or what their names were. I remember nothing but the look on Sadie’s face when she walked out and saw what was taking place. The hurt in her eyes has haunted me for months. It’s the reason I didn’t look her up or go after her once I was sober. Because she deserves better than what I did to her.
God, it now feels like forever ago, another lifetime, but that’s how life works. I might be sober now, but the effects… the consequences of my shitty choices will continue to darken my door. Although is it really a consequence when the result is that beautiful baby girl?
And Sadie…Goddamn, she looks good… gorgeous. She was on the skinny side when I found her at the cemetery because she wasn’t eating properly. She was beautiful but sad—eyes glassy and features etched with devastation. Now, she looks happy. Her eyes were clear and bright. Every time she’d look at our daughter, she got this twinkle in her eye. She was meant to be a mom.
And a wife. When she told me she was in a relationship, I wanted to punch something. Of course, she’s with someone. I barely know her, and even I know she’s the whole damn package. The thought of some other guy spending time with my daughter makes me feel sick. Him stepping in and playing daddy… Do they live together? Does my daughter think he’s her dad? Are there family photos of them hanging on the walls? After they put Aurora to bed, does he take Sadie to their room and get lost in her?
When we were together sexually, it wasn’t about attraction with her. It was about the escape and losing ourselves in one another. I was too high to fully appreciate her body or treat her the way she deserved. But now… she’s got curves for days. If I were given another chance, I would take my time and worship every damn inch of her.
I shake those thoughts from my head. She’s with someone now. I lost my chance. I chose drugs over her, and that’s my punishment: to have to look at her every day, knowing we created a beautiful little girl and we’ll never be a family. At least it’s not too late for me to be a part of Aurora’s life. I don’t blame Sadie for keeping her from me. She did what she felt was best, given the situation and her past, but shit has changed. I’m sober and have every intention of being a father to my daughter. I grew up without a dad, and I’ll be damned if my daughter does the same.
Kaylee: Is she yours?
I add Kendall, Layla, Braxton, Camden, and Declan to the chat so I don’t have to repeat myself.
Me: Sadie’s daughter is mine. Her name is Aurora… She calls her Rory, and they’ve been living in Virginia. She’s leaving tomorrow to go back. I’m going over there now to spend some time with them.
Kaylee: I can’t believe she kept her from you!
I never told anyone what happened that night, the last night I saw Sadie, but now I have to because I can’t have my friends hating the mother of my daughter.
Me: I deserved it. Sadie lost her son and husband when he drove while high and got into a car accident. I found her mourning their deaths (along with the baby girl she miscarried the day before their accident). I brought her to my apartment and spent months with her. When Braxton told us he was moving in with you, Declan asked if Sadie and I were getting serious. I got scared and brought two women home. While I was high on heroin and coke and pills and whatever the fuck else I had taken that night, I fucked them in the living room. Sadie saw and walked away. She had to save herself, and I’ll never blame her for that. When she found out she was pregnant, she made the decision not to tell me about Aurora because she was doing what a mother should do… protecting our daughter from me. Do not hate her for that. I don’t. Now, I have to prove to her that I’m capable of being a father to our daughter.