Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 96404 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 482(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 321(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96404 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 482(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 321(@300wpm)
Because he has no right to be. Not after everything I’ve been through.
“Who do you think I did it for?” I jam a finger at his chest. “Do you think I enjoy being on Akira’s arm or that I’m delighted to wear his ring and have his goddamn name? I don’t! But I had to for you.”
“Me? Oh, that explains it all. Thanks.”
“Shut up, you fucking idiot. For once, just shut up and listen. You know the father I found? He’s Abe Hitori, as in, the head of the Yakuza in New York. It was by his order that you were shot that day in the forest and held in the cell. He did that to break me in and make me into his obedient daughter. And it worked. It fucking worked. If you hadn’t gotten medical care, you would’ve died, Sebastian. You would’ve disappeared as if you’d never existed. They would’ve buried you in some damn hole and no one would’ve found your body. So yes, you asshole, I did it to save you. I left and married Akira so you’d survive.”
Sebastian’s eyes widen and he steps closer, reaching a hand toward me, but I push him away. “No! Let me finish. You wanted to know everything that happened. So here it is, Sebastian. Here’s the fucking truth I’ve been swallowing like a bitter pill every damn day. When Ren and Kai, my father’s men, gave me the choice of following his orders or witnessing you die, I didn’t think twice about it. I was ready to sell my body and my fucking soul if it meant seeing you safe and sound. That’s how much you meant to me. That’s how much I cared about you. But that’s not all. My father would’ve sold my younger sister, Mio, who was only fourteen at the time, without batting an eye. But Akira wanted to marry me and my father needed the Mori family’s power, so that’s where I came in. The only reason my father even looked in my direction was because I’d be able to secure an alliance for him.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He sounds a bit broken, a bit emotional. “Why did you think it was a better fucking idea to leave me, break us, fucking destroy what we had.”
“I told you it was to protect you! To protect us, even if we didn’t exist anymore. I was so lost back then and scared and nothing I did seemed enough or right. Nothing I did could’ve brought me back to you.”
“Nao…”
“Don’t Nao me.” I push away from him, letting the tears loose. “I cried like a baby when I thought they would leave you for dead in that damn cell. I cried just as hard after I broke up with you on the phone and ended what we had with the fucking safe word. The night I married someone else, I lost a part of my soul. Ever since then, I’ve been only living but have never felt alive. I survived on reading articles about you and the thought that you were well and breathing. And you know what? I don’t regret what I did. I don’t regret saving you from my father’s wrath and continuing to do so until now, because if he finds out I’m endangering his precious alliance with Akira, he won’t hesitate to kill you this time.”
His hand touches my shoulder and I push it away. I’m a crying mess and my breathing is all over the place. Tears blur my vision until all I see are shadows. Sebastian doesn’t stop trying to reach for me, even though I wiggle free every time.
“Come here.” He wraps an arm around my back and I bang both fists against his chest.
However, my fight is short-lived as he engulfs me in a strong embrace. My nails dig into the material of his hoodie and I break.
In the middle of the forest.
In the darkness.
I let all the pain loose. Sharp pieces splinter into my heart and everything overflows to the surface.
Snot and tears stain my face and Sebastian’s clothes, but he holds me close, his hand drawing soothing circles on my back as he squeezes me.
“And my mom died around then…” I choke on the words. “It broke me harder because I was slapped with the reality that I was on my own… You weren’t there… Mom wasn’t there… Akira is cold and never attempts to be a friend… My father keeps threatening me with Mio’s life… She’s so young and sheltered, and I feel like I’m responsible for her, you know. I don’t want her to end up like me. I don’t want her to be Father’s pawn and marry a man she doesn’t love and then suffer because of it every day…with every damn breath she takes…because that’s how it felt without you, Sebastian. Breathing was a chore. Waking up every day, putting a smile on my face, and pretending I was fine was a damn struggle. I’m tired… I’m so tired.”