Total pages in book: 144
Estimated words: 136296 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 681(@200wpm)___ 545(@250wpm)___ 454(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 136296 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 681(@200wpm)___ 545(@250wpm)___ 454(@300wpm)
I pour myself a cup of coffee, add enough sugar to cut the bitter and some cream to turn it tan, and set it on the table. Then I go back and grab two bowls, the gallon of milk that’s half-empty, and three different boxes of cereal. I don’t bother with the Lucky Charms since Lavender’s hands have been in every single freaking box. She picks out all the fucking marshmallows. It drives me up the damn wall, especially since there are several boxes of cereal marshmallows sitting on the shelf right next to them.
I slide a bowl in front of BJ and keep the slightly bigger one for myself. Most of the time I make myself a real breakfast—eggs, bacon, whole grain toast, that kind of thing. But not today. Still, I start with the healthier cereal option. This morning I’m going with Frosted Mini-Wheats as course number one. I dump half the box into my bowl and pour milk over it, letting it sit for a minute before I dig in. Mini-Wheats are a particular favorite because they do such a good job of soaking up the milk.
“How are you handling things?” BJ asks conversationally, bypassing healthy options in lieu of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
“Handling what things?” I shovel Mini-Wheats into my mouth.
He points to the ceiling.
I shrug.
“So, not well, then.”
BJ doesn’t pour any milk on his cereal. Instead, he picks at it like it’s a bowl of chips.
“There’s nothing to handle. They’re together, like we all knew they would be eventually.”
“There’s a significant difference between knowing it’s going to happen and it actually happening, though. And let’s be real, for a while there it looked a lot like Kody was going to fuck things up permanently.”
I let my spoon rest on top of my floating Mini-Wheats and take my hat off, running my hands through my hair and lacing my fingers behind my neck. “That whole thong situation was . . .”
“Very OOC for Lavender, but also badass.” BJ strokes his beard and smiles.
I frown. “OOC?”
“Out of character.”
“Oh yeah, for sure it was.” I wasn’t there to witness what happened, but I saw the pictures circulating after the fact. Kody threw Lavender over his shoulder like all his brain cells had died and he’d turned into a caveman. “Never in my life did I think I’d see Lavender in a thong bikini.”
“She’s good at making a statement when she needs to,” BJ says, sifting through his cereal bowl.
For what, I have no idea.
“Agreed. Better than I realized, maybe.”
“She’s always had her own way of doing things.” He pops another piece of cereal in his mouth. “It’s like her star has finally started to shine. It’s good. But it can’t be easy for you.”
“How so?” Having Lavender move in here was my idea.
BJ steeples his fingers and taps them against his lips. “Your friendship with Kody has always been . . . tricky.”
“You mean because he’s always been in love with my sister?” I don’t mean for those words to come out with bite. Do I want my sister and my best friend to be happy together? Absolutely. But it digs at sore places.
BJ shakes his head. “It’s more than just love, though. Those two.” He takes a moment to think before he speaks, which is BJ’s way of having conversations. Sometimes it takes an hour to get to the point, but most of the time, by the end, the picture is a lot clearer than when we started. “They’re soul mates. They can’t help but be drawn to each other. And Kody, man, he tortured himself for years over her.”
“Because of the carnival,” I mutter.
BJ’s eyes shift to mine and spark. “That’s part of it, yes. But there are so many layers. He lived to save her after that happened.”
“And I’ve always been the tightrope he had to walk to get to her. But now that he has her, where does that leave me?” I don’t expect the bitterness in my tone, or the way I suddenly feel even more . . . insecure maybe? Today is a bag of shit.
“Ah. And there it is. The real issue.” BJ props his elbows on the table and leans forward. “I challenge you to look at it another way, Maverick. You were never the tightrope. You were Kody’s anchor and Lavender’s shield. You prevented him from getting to her before he was ready to deal with what it meant to have found the person he was destined to love more than any other. Because let’s face it, Kody can’t half-ass his feelings. He only experiences the world in two ways—full color or none at all. And Lavender, well, she’s his fucking rainbow.”
“I don’t even know how to be his friend anymore. I feel like I’ve become a black cloud or something. Like I’m a reminder of all the ways things got screwed up when we were kids. I don’t know. Everything has changed.” I wish I understood why this whole thing makes me feel . . . like I’m mourning something maybe.