Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 71835 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71835 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
"That's not why," I tell her again.
Maybe what I read in the journal played a role, but I didn't have sex with her just because of that.
"Then why?" Stella asks me. "Why did you kiss me? Why did you teach me all about pleasure?"
Her eyes brim with tears as she looks into mine. Her lips quiver.
"Why did you make me fall in love with you?"
My eyebrows arch. What?
I didn't see that coming. I never even thought of it. And I definitely don't know how to respond to it.
"I..."
I try to put words together but fail. My emotions are too jumbled for me to make sense of them. For once in my life, I'm clueless about what I'm supposed to say or do.
"Forget it," Stella says. "Forget about all of it."
She walks to the door but stops.
"Just so we're clear, I'm not signing that contract."
She takes another step.
"Also, I'm quitting. I'll send my resignation letter to HR tomorrow."
I say nothing.
Stella opens the door and leaves. A part of me wants to run after her, but even if I do, what will I say? I still don't know.
I scratch the back of my head.
She's thrown me a real curve ball. Then again, she's always had a way of surprising me in the most unexpected ways.
And now, she's gone.
Chapter Nineteen
Stella
I can't stay here.
I fight off a fresh wave of tears as I stuff my clothes inside my suitcase, the same one I just unpacked a week ago.
I had a feeling Ethan wouldn't be happy with my decision not to sign that stupid contract, but I didn't think he was going to be such a jerk about it.
It's selfish enough that all he sees me as is a baby maker. Then he goes on and says that the contract is in my best interest, that he's going to keep everything a secret for my sake when he's the one with a reputation to uphold. How dare he say I deserve to be happy while making sure I won't be?
Then I find out he read my journal. He fucking read my journal, my most private possession.
Don't they teach you in third grade not to go through other people's things?
Yes, I was careless to leave it there. Yes, he owns the desk I left it on. Even so, he didn't have to read it. But he did. He read every page, I think. Every secret. Every wish. Every fantasy. And because of that, nothing feels real anymore.
It's like listening to a song and admiring it because the lyrics are so heartfelt and then realizing the singer was lip-syncing and that it was actually someone else singing.
Everything Ethan did in Switzerland, he did because of what he read in my journal. Either he felt sorry for me because of the things he read or he used the information to seduce me. It was all a trick, a farce. And the worst part is that I fell for all of it.
I fell for him.
But I'm done. Yesterday, I quit being Ethan's assistant. Today, I just stayed in bed nursing my broken heart, a stupid part of me silently hoping that Ethan would come and mend it, that he would somehow make things right. But of course, he didn't. And now I've realized I can't stay.
I've learned to like Chicago, but I can't stay in the place where I met the only man I've ever loved, the same man who doesn't love me and probably never will. I won't be able to move on if I stay here. And I have to move on.
I have to go so I can survive.
The doorbell breaks into my thoughts. I freeze.
In spite of myself, hope fills my chest. Is that Ethan? Did he finally come to his senses? Is he here to stop me from leaving?
I open the door. My heart sinks when I see Jess and Randy.
"We're not who you were expecting, are we?" Randy asks.
"Nonsense." I put on a smile. "I just didn't think you'd show up here. Aren't you guys supposed to be at work?"
Jess points to her watch. Right. It's already the end of the day.
She puts her hands on her hips. "The question is: Why weren't you at work?"
They noticed?
"Before that, can we come in?" Randy asks. "It feels weird to be standing here."
"Yeah, sure."
I open the door wider so they can come inside, something I should have done first thing.
"Just pardon the mess."
The takeout boxes from lunch are still on the table. The door to my bedroom is open and my bed hasn't been made. Plus my suitcase is on the floor.
Jess sees it and gives me a look of concern. "You're leaving?"
I purse my lips.
"So it's true," Randy says. "You resigned."
I narrow my eyes at him. "How did you know?"
"I overheard someone from HR talking about it."