Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 112762 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112762 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Time has stolen my chance for your forgiveness. It has stolen the chance for me to tell you in person how sorry I am and to see you one last time before I go. I want you to have everything I have, darling. To use it to make your life better. But more than anything, I want you to know that I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. And if there’s one good thing I can leave you with, it is the wisdom of my failures. Never let pride stand in the way of the people you love. Never live a life that you’ll leave in regret.
I wish we’d had the chance to say goodbye. For me to know where you are and to know that you’re happy. All I can do is leave, hoping that wherever you are, you’re being loved far better than I was capable of.
You’ll be my last thought, my last hope, my last wish.
I love you always,
Dad
I read my father’s letter for the hundredth time since his lawyers sent it to me. The first time I opened it, I didn’t think I’d recover from my grief. It was the only time in my life I’d truly lost it in front of Callie. Thankfully, Walker, even though he was still recovering, had been there to hold me through the sobs that seemed to rattle my entire being, to reassure my daughter when I could do nothing but lie in bed. Clutching the letter. Crying silent tears the whole night.
Perry had my father cremated. I’d missed his memorial. And he’d died not only not knowing where I was, but not knowing his wife had kept us apart and tried to goddamn kill me.
Every day since the letter arrived had been one of the hardest struggles I’d ever gone through. But Walker was barely out of the hospital, his reconciliation with his parents still an ongoing and difficult process, and Christmas was here.
For Callie, I needed to be strong. She’d already been through way too much. I needed this time to be a haven for her.
“I love you, Daddy,” I whispered, kissing the letter before tucking it back into my bedside table. “I forgive you.”
I said it to him every day, hoping that wherever he was, he heard me and it brought him peace.
The sound of Callie and Walker talking downstairs got me up. I dragged on my robe and slippers and drew up my shoulders, preparing to be a glass half-full today.
And I was.
It was Christmas Eve. The man I loved was recovering from being shot but still insisted on staying here with us over the holidays. I’d watched him like a hawk as he got into bed with me last night, noting the tentative way he moved.
Callie’s laughter rang up toward me, and as I descended the stairs, I smelled bacon and coffee. Regan had festively decorated the cottage while Walker was recuperating in hospital, and I spent all my evenings with Callie at his bedside. She’d found the cutest tree to sit by the window and covered it in pretty vintage Christmas baubles and gold fairy lights. Regan strung garlands of gold and red flowers along the fireplace and across our main wall. Mistletoe hung above the doorway between the kitchen and living room, and three stockings hung from the fireplace.
I’d never been more grateful for my friends as they rallied around us. Brodan was a constant presence in Walker’s hospital room. He brought Nox with him whenever he could. I think it surprised Walker to realize how much his friend and ex-boss clearly loved him. How much so many people cared about him. In fact, Walker seemed to be the only one who didn’t realize how incredibly lovable he was.
Giggles drew me to the kitchen, and sure enough, I found my daughter with Walker as he grilled bacon and stirred scrambled eggs on the stove.
“What are you doing?” I huffed, hurrying into the room to take the spatula out of his hand. “You’re not supposed to be doing anything right now.”
Walker gently took the spatula back as he leaned down to press a soothing kiss to my lips. “Happy Birthday, baby.”
I flushed with pleasure even as I opened my mouth to admonish him for exerting himself, when Callie threw her arms around my waist. “Happy Birthday, Mom!”
Hugging her tight, I kissed the top of her head. “Thank you, baby girl.” I turned to Walker and held out my hand. “But you guys know my birthday is tomorrow, right?”
“We’re making a new tradition,” Callie announced decidedly. “Your birthday will no longer be on Christmas Day but on Christmas Eve so we can celebrate it properly.”
“Is that right?” I chuckled.
“Yeah, it’s not fair otherwise.”
“Well, okay. I can do that.” I turned to Walker. “But I can also make breakfast.”