Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 102177 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 341(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102177 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 341(@300wpm)
I squirmed in his grip. “Aids, you’re hurting me,” I told him quietly.
He looked down at his hands as if he was surprised they were there. He immediately released me and I rubbed my shoulders absently.
“Sorry,” he said quickly, frowning at his hands. “I was just worried. You disappearing, going through what you’re going through. I didn’t want you to be alone,” he added.
I inwardly cringed. I wasn’t alone. I was with the man who’d haunted my dreams for the past three years. I’d let him fuck me on his bike. Correction, I had done the “fucking.” Guilt washed through me, turning my stomach.
“Coffee,” Bex declared from beside me, handing me a cup.
I took it gratefully. She gave me a knowing look. Like she knew exactly what I was doing.
“I’ll be in my room, sleeping until a normal hour, now that we don’t have to call in Liam Neeson to retrieve Lily from a hostage situation,” she declared drily.
She moved in to kiss my cheek. “Here if you need me, Lils babe,” she said quietly in my ear, her eyes darting to Aiden in disdain.
I gave her a smile. “Love you,” I whispered, needing her to know how much her quiet support and even her snarky remarks helped.
“Ditto,” she winked, scowled at Aiden then walked to her room.
“Want to tell me where you went?” he asked softly.
I paused. “Let’s sit down,” I stalled, pointing to our floral sofa. It had a giant hole in the arm, which was covered by a printed pashmina. Apart from that, it was actually awesome. Covered in sequined cushions and fluffy throws. The perfect space to break up with someone. Not.
Once we were situated, with Aiden holding my hand, I spoke, “I went for a drive, just needed some time to think,” I started in a small voice. I wasn’t lying, only omitting the truth. “On my drive I realized that I need to have some space right now. Need to get my life back together.” The thought of doing that without my mom made me taste bile, but I focused on the task at hand. “I can’t do that to you. Can’t give you what you want the way I am now,” I whispered.
Aiden’s face was soft, he stroked my cheek. “It’s not about you giving me anything. I’m here to give you whatever you need, Lily. I’m here for the long run. I care about you, a lot.”
“You’re such a nice guy,” I whispered. “But I wasn’t in the right frame of mind when this started. I needed someone for comfort. It isn’t fair to you. We’re better as friends,” I informed him firmly.
Aiden sat back, his face blank. “You’re not budging on this,” he stated his eyes hard.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”
He nodded. “Yeah,” he muttered.
Silence descended. Unlike with Asher, it wasn’t comfortable. I fiddled with my fingers, my anxiety rearing its head. I didn’t do well in situations like this. Nervousness crawled all over me like hives.
“I guess I knew it,” Aiden said finally. “Knew you didn’t feel the same as I did for you. You’re so reserved. I never know what you’re thinking. It just makes you that much more intriguing. I wanted to be the man that opened you up, got inside that shell,” he sighed, “but I’m not that man, am I?” It wasn’t really a question, he was resigned to the fact.
I shook my head slowly.
He nodded again and leaned forward kissing my head softly. “This is not what I want, I’m just clarifying that now,” he told me quietly. “You change your mind, I’m here. But if not, I’m still your friend, okay?”
Such a nice guy.
I nodded and smiled. “You’ll find her. The one that’s right for you. It’s just not me,” I told him firmly.
He gave me a sad smile. “We’ll agree to disagree there.”
He stood. I stood with him, awkwardly walking to the door.
“You’ll call if there’s anything you need?” he asked firmly.
“Yeah,” I whispered, knowing I wouldn’t, not for a while anyway.
What I needed was my mom back. He couldn’t give me that. What I needed was solitude. That he could give me.
He gave me a sad look.
I sank against the back of the door when he was gone, letting out a breath of relief.
“Thank fuck for that, thought I’d have to flea bomb the place to get him out,” Bex exclaimed.
I glanced over at her. She was leaning against her door jamb and eating straight from a tub of peanut butter.
My eyes widened at her. “You were eavesdropping?”
She rose her brows. “Um … of course,” she replied as if I was crazy for even asking her this.
I screwed my nose up at the container in her hands. “Please don’t tell me that’s your breakfast.”
She shrugged. “Good protein,” she mumbled.
I shook my head, making my way to the kitchen to make us breakfast. I wasn’t hungry, I hadn’t been for weeks, but it gave me something to do. Idle hands were the Devil’s instruments. And with the Devil came the demons.