Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 131888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
In a bed.
Facing him. Kissing him. Exploring him with her eyes, mouth and hands.
Making it more of a two-person sport.
More than a hurdle for him to overcome.
And while she was proud and hopeful that he had taken this step, she wouldn’t be surprised if his thoughts were spinning, too. He was most likely coming up with an escape plan.
One she wouldn’t take as an insult.
What the fuck did he just do?
He swore this woman would be his undoing. She pulled him in in a way he couldn’t explain.
But why her?
What was it about Aaliyah that drew him? And why couldn’t he resist?
She was outspoken and pushy. Stubborn and, without a doubt, could easily outsmart him. If he let her.
Every time he tried to expel her from his thoughts, he failed.
He said he wasn’t going back to the group’s weekly meetings. That would turn out to be a lie. He already accepted defeat on that front.
But that wasn’t what was eating at him…
He just had sex with a woman who wasn’t his wife.
Just had sex with a woman he didn’t know very well.
He. Just. Had. Sex.
It had been so long…
Too damn long.
Despite that, how could he want another woman as much as his wife?
That pull he couldn’t explain… It was the same as when he met Jackie.
That realization sent a bolt of fear and confusion through him.
He didn’t understand the unmistakable pull then. He didn’t understand it now.
Back then he didn’t question it. He didn’t fight it.
Now he did. For fuck’s sake, he had no choice but to fight it. Ignore it. Pretend it didn’t exist.
Because the truth was, Aaliyah wasn’t for him.
No woman was.
He couldn’t risk making a connection again like he had with Jackie.
As the panic rose, he pulled in a breath and caught Liyah’s unique, subtle scent. Whatever she wore. Her lotion or a perfume. Maybe her soap.
Mixed with her arousal.
From her orgasm.
No, orgasms. She had more than one.
Even as awkward as this whole thing had been, she managed to find some satisfaction. However, he was damn well sure she was still disappointed.
As was he.
Not only for his less than stellar performance, but in himself.
For not being strong enough to resist.
For wanting this woman as much as he did.
Gritting his teeth, he secured the condom at the root of his cock and pulled out. He kept his head down as he removed the prophylactic and yanked up his jeans to secure his cock.
“Going to clean up,” he muttered and spun on his boot heel. Striding across the room, he paused only to snag his hat from where it fell before continuing into her bathroom and shutting the door behind him.
He tossed the spent condom into the trash and turned to use the sink…
Only to be met by someone he didn’t recognize.
“What the fuck just happened?” he asked.
That stranger didn’t answer.
He set his jaw and washed his hands, unable to look that person in the eyes.
He couldn’t face the judgement.
He also avoided Aaliyah’s when he left the bathroom.
Instead, he simply grumbled, “Gotta go,” and rushed out of the room, not waiting to hear her response.
Like a goddamn coward.
Because that was who he was.
A goddamn broken coward.
The hallway had become a narrow tunnel funneling him toward the exit.
He saw nothing around him except his escape.
The burn in his chest spread to his gut.
It wasn’t heartburn.
It was guilt.
He was unable to get rid of that burn by swallowing and choked on it, instead.
He burst out of the door and down her porch with his eyes glued to his bike.
His means of escape.
After straddling it, he didn’t look up because he was afraid she’d be standing in the doorway.
If he saw her there, he might go back inside.
And he shouldn’t. He couldn’t.
He didn’t belong at this house.
He didn’t belong with her.
This couldn’t happen again.
He needed to go. Get the fuck out of there because he wouldn’t put it past Aaliyah to chase him down.
To make him face whatever he was feeling.
He needed to leave before she stopped him.
Only, he had one thing to do first.
Slipping his cell phone from his pocket, he pulled up his message app, and added one more text to the long string.
I made a mistake. I’m sorry.
Chapter Eighteen
The house had been eerily quiet after Nox rushed out like that pesky ghost had been chasing him. So quiet that she considered heading into the office on Saturday to be around people who valued her. People other than her family, that was.
Instead, she stayed home and took advantage of her empty house by blasting some classic rock while cooking and baking. All without any interruptions or having to smack grabby, grubby fingers when they tried to steal food.
She even managed to meal prep lunches and dinners for the week ahead. For both the boys and herself.
She kept herself so busy in the kitchen, she no longer had room in the fridge and freezer to store anything more.