Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 129980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Trust was everything between them. He was so concerned about betrayal he wanted to control their relationship—and her—in the hopes it could never happen. But he was in the position of committing a massive betrayal. She already suspected he had approached her to watch Billows.
She didn’t realize he was after a specific item, her key to the underground offices. If she was aware he planned to search her backpack for the necklace holding that key, he knew she would view that as a betrayal. He wasn’t certain how to get around that. He wanted to tell her the mission. He was sure she would go along with it, but he couldn’t pull her out and hide her in a safe house without tipping Billows off that something was radically wrong. If he told her, she would have to act like nothing was wrong. She already was having a difficult time.
“Andrii?” She said his name, a gentle inquiry.
“Sorbacov didn’t just deceive adults. His main targets were children. How many times they would rat on others. How many times, even after he refused to release them after his promises, they would believe him. That was the kind of shit he lived for. He did it every single day. No matter how many times I warned my female partners not to believe him, not to do as he said, they would tell him. Report me to him. I was trying to help them, stupid little girls who were desperate for Sorbacov’s favor. I didn’t deceive them, but it was him they trusted.”
For the first time, he didn’t sound distant from the past. He sounded bitter. He tasted bitter ashes in his mouth. Memories flooded his mind, sickening him. He broke out in a sweat. His skin felt clammy, yet he was hot—both symptoms that told him he was too close to the triggers that made him so dangerous at times.
“Honey.” Azelie’s fingers bit into his thigh muscle. “Just breathe. That’s what I do. That’s what you tell me to do. Just breathe through it. We can stop right here. I don’t need to know any more.”
Azelie was intelligent enough to know it was impossible to fake post-traumatic stress, not when the symptoms were physical. But he worried it was just another way he would appear weak to her. She needed a strong man. Showing this side of himself could blow his chances, when he thought telling her about his past would help her to understand why he was so strange.
He forced himself to look down into her upturned face. Heat blossomed, spread through him. She was looking back at him with that expression he craved in her eyes. He didn’t understand why or how that could be when he looked weak, but it was there. Adoration. Something close to love. Whatever connection they had wasn’t just physical. He was betting his life on that.
“You can’t look at me like that, Solnyshkuh, or we’re going to end up back in bed. Right at this moment, I want you more than my next breath.” That was the raw truth, and she had to hear it in his voice. She had to understand what she meant to him. “I don’t know how to say the right words to you. I can lie to you. I had the best teacher in how to deceive, but telling the truth to the one person who matters is more difficult than anything I’ve ever done.”
Maestro took her face between his hands. That face that was already more necessary to him than breathing. He was addicted to that look. He ran his thumb over her full, inviting lips. A faint smile curved her mouth beneath the light pressure of his thumb.
“I already let myself go a little crazy once. I’m not doing that again.”
He couldn’t help but smile. In the midst of a bad moment, she could shine her light on him and change his world.
“I think we’re going to do that a lot, Solnyshkuh.” He used his most compelling, velvet voice and watched the little shiver go through her with satisfaction. No matter how many alarms she tried to heed, she was very susceptible to him and their chemistry. He wanted everything between them to be real, so he was doing his best to give her what he could of himself, but he had a certain expertise, and as far as he was concerned, using it was fair. And they’d both reap the benefits.
“You think you have a poker face, Andrii, but I’m reading you right now. You’re going to use sex to get your way, just because you know I can’t resist you.”
He brought the tips of her fingers to his mouth and bit down gently, enjoying the way her eyes went wide and goose bumps leapt over her skin. She could take away every nightmare and replace them with her. Her laughter. Her wide-eyed wonder. Her generosity and compassion.