Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 81113 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81113 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
But that had all been for the future. Right now, Michael and I weren’t even in a relationship. He had said that he didn’t want a relationship. I’d hoped to change his mind, but telling him I was pregnant wasn’t going to do that.
Instead, what it would do would give him a sense of obligation.
Michael was a good man. He would insist on helping out with the baby, I just knew it. He was that kind of person. And with the restaurant failing, how could I possibly ask that of him? He didn’t need a distraction or another financial burden.
And you know what? I didn’t want to have my baby be raised with a father who didn’t really want them or want a relationship with the mother. A parent who was a parent out of guilt or obligation couldn’t really be a proper parent to the child, how could they?
Even if Michael did want a child, a relationship…
Well.
The sad truth was that he surely didn’t want one with the chef he was probably about to fire. I had destroyed his company, I had sent it plummeting over the cliff, and I wasn’t going to now pour salt into the wound. He would be better off without me. I would make my way.
God even knew what the fuck I would tell my parents but, one problem at a time.
I was no good for Michael or the restaurant. I’d bitten off more than I could chew. I was Icarus, and now the wax wings were melting.
So first things first: get out of there.
I finished up my walk, looping back around to the apartment. I was glad that Andy wouldn’t be there. It meant that I could deal with all of this in peace, without a bunch of questions.
Once I was back in my apartment, I took stock. What were my options?
Well, I had to get out of this town. If I was around then Michael would be sure to see me as my stomach grew out and then I had a kid. He’d ask questions, and I’d be shit at lying to his face. Getting away would be good, but not too far. My mother would literally kill me if I took her first grandchild across the country.
Besides, I couldn’t bear to be in the same place as Michael. Not when I still loved him so desperately and he didn’t feel the same, and especially not when I was carrying his child. I couldn’t do that to myself. I had to cut myself off, cold turkey. A new slate, a fresh start, that would be good. What I needed.
But where would I go? Hmm.
When I’d first graduated culinary school, a friend of mine from there had said I should come and work with them at this prestigious restaurant up in Sacramento. I had turned it down because I wanted to work with Michael, but now… it was the perfect opportunity. Sacramento wasn’t too far away from my family, but far away enough that it would be a new beginning for me and for my child, and away from Michael, away from all the things I’d fucked up and failed.
I called my friend as I started to pack my bags. Dora was ecstatic that I’d chosen to take the job. “I knew you would change your mind!” she told me. “You can totally move in with me until you get yourself a place.”
I had some money saved up, so I was sure I could find a small studio apartment quickly, but I thanked her. A couple of weeks with a friend while I searched for a new apartment - my first solo apartment, wow - would be good.
Then I started packing. My job was waiting for me, and I wasn’t going to delay. While I was packing I called my parents and explained the change in plans, then texted Andy. He wouldn’t see it for a bit, but that was fine by me.
My parents were supportive, as they always were, and I didn’t mention the pregnancy. “It just wasn’t working out at Michael’s,” I told them. “So I’m pursuing another opportunity now that the one-month trial period with him is up.”
They didn’t argue with me. They’d thought I should’ve gone somewhere else in the first place, so, no surprises there.
Packing my stuff took up the rest of the day, but at least there wasn’t much. I hadn’t wanted to have a lot of things while living with Andy since my eventual goal was to find a place of my own, and I didn’t have a lot of stuff to begin because y’know broke culinary school student. Once it was all in boxes, I ordered a U-Haul and picked it up, loaded everything, and got ready.
Andy would be glad for the empty apartment, I was sure. I left a check for next month’s rent on the table so that he would have time to find a new roommate if he wanted one. Probably a buddy, he’d like that instead of his sister. He could actually bring girls back to the place now instead of just waiting for when I was out at the restaurant.