Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 93307 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 373(@250wpm)___ 311(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93307 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 373(@250wpm)___ 311(@300wpm)
“Oh, come on,” Katy says with a groan. “You do not want to be involved in this.”
“Sure I do, Katy. Why wouldn’t I? I happen to know several people with careers who I think would enrich the hearts and minds of the students here at Calhoun.”
“That is such bullcr—”
“Ahem.” Dana clears her throat. Angry, Katy flops back into the structure of her chair and narrows her eyes with frightening focus.
“Are we trying to highlight any specific careers?”
“Well, it’s safe to say we’re not trying to convince our students to start OnlyFans accounts when they graduate high school,” Dana says with a sigh. “But I’d say most of the world at large is your oyster.”
I have to bite my lip to fight my laughter. And I can’t stop myself from putting on my most serious face to ask, “What’s an OnlyFans?”
Dana glares at me. “You and I both know what an OnlyFans is, Mr. Houston.”
“Actually…” I feign confusion, even tapping my chin for good measure. “I don’t think I do. Can you elaborate?”
“It’s a sex subscription site. Kind of like pay-per-view for porn,” someone chimes in from behind, and all three of us look toward the door to find Alma Ross standing at the threshold.
“Mrs. Ross, is there a reason you’re interrupting this meeting?” Dana asks, and Alma just shrugs.
“Just being nosy.”
“And you don’t think you can be nosy somewhere else?”
“Not really.” Alma shrugs again and settles herself in the chair beside the door. A few seconds later, she has yarn in her hands and starts knitting what looks to be a scarf.
The woman has officially settled in for the show, and even our temporary principal knows it’s not worth the fight.
“So, it’s settled,” Dana continues. “You two will handle planning our first annual Career Day this year. And you’ll keep the careers to things parents won’t send me angry emails about.”
I raise my hand. Dana ignores me completely.
“Katy, do you have any questions?”
“Where we will be hosting it?”
“The auditorium.”
“And how many speakers should we invite?”
“As many as you want as long as they don’t go over two hours. Anything more than that, and we can’t count the day as a full curriculum.”
Katy starts to open her mouth again, but Dana is quick to cut her off. She’s done humoring anything other than an overpriced latte and a two-to-three-hour transformation into a new-haired woman.
“So, we’re good? You guys got this?”
“Um…” Katy pauses and glances at me out of the corner of her eyes. “Actually, I really think it would be best if I handled the planning myself. Mr. Houston is very busy planning water balloon fights.”
“Oh, Ms. Dayton, I’m wounded,” I say dramatically and hold a hand to my chest. I look directly at Principal Dana. “She doesn’t like me. I’m pretty sure she hates me.”
“He’s not wrong,” Alma says without shame. “Mack’s definitely on this one’s voodoo board.”
“I don’t hate him,” Katy is quick to retort. She looks at Dana. “I don’t hate him. I just…we just…we don’t work very well together. Our teaching styles are very, very different.”
“Speaking of teaching styles,” Principal Dana states, and immediately, her eyes go to me. “Water balloons?”
“I think it’s pretty obvious,” I answer with a guffaw. “Water balloons are hyperelastic, as are sound waves. Put simplistically, the force-to-breakage coefficient of a water balloon is intensely similar to the effect sound barriers have on—”
Dana holds up a hand. “You can stop now. I assume you got parent permission?”
“From all three periods that engaged in the balloon fights.” All thanks to Betty’s and Carol’s help.
“Okay, then. Moving along.”
“Wait…” Katy’s voice pipes up. “That’s it?”
Principal Dana moves her eyes to her. “You have a problem, Katy?”
“Honestly? Yeah.” Katy glowers. “I’m still having issues with Mr. Houston’s class being disruptive to my class. It’s like trying to teach math while the circus is in town. And quite frankly, I don’t care if the elephants do a fantastic job of teaching the ear frequency or whatever line of crap you have cued,” she adds, turning to me directly.
Principal Dana looks at Katy. She looks at me. And then, she glances at the watch on her wrist and lets out a deep exhale. “Since it’s already twenty till one, we’re going to have to find another time to work out these issues when I’m not on my way to self-care. I have to get going.”
“She’s in her Taylor Lautner era,” Alma chimes in, still busy knitting whatever it is she’s knitting.
And yes, she means Taylor Swift, but this is a hilarious constant with Alma Ross. She always confuses celebrities’ names, and it’s one of my favorite things. Frankly, I’m not the only one. The sheer joy in Dana’s eyes is proof of that.
“Taylor Lautner?” Katy asks. “Isn’t that the—”
“I think what Katy wants to say—” I quickly cut her off before she can ruin something that brings constant entertainment to my work life “—is that we fully support you focusing on your self-care, Principal Dana. And I will make a point to work out my issues with Ms. Dayton.”