Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 123190 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123190 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
“Seemed like a dangerous habit, considering.”
His throat bobs. “I can see that.”
Do you want me to kiss you? Is that a question I can ask?
He’s still frowning. “There are very few in Elora who have the kind of magic necessary to create a ring with that kind of power. And among those who do, all have an agenda.” He sweeps my hair behind my ear, then lets his fingers trace the sensitive shell and lobe. I shiver. “Very little scares me, Jas, but I am terrified to think of what she may have required of you in exchange for that ring.”
“She didn’t ask for anything I wasn’t happy to give,” I say softly.
“Tell me.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“What’s the difference?”
With the hand that holds mine, he brushes his thumb across my knuckles and sighs. “Sometimes it is that which we readily sacrifice at our lowest that we most ardently desire when we emerge from the darkness.”
That wisdom hits too close to the truth, and I cover the ache of the blow with a forced laugh. “Oh, and I suppose you have all this wisdom because you’re so old?” His expression seems so somber by the light of the fire, his lips so close.
“I’m older than you,” he says.
“How old?”
“Twenty-one in a few months. But I’ve been told I’m very wise for my age.” His gaze lingers on my mouth for one more beat before moving back to my eyes. “What did the witch require as her payment?”
I can’t make myself answer. Shame traps the words in my throat. My life. Every minute after my eighteenth birthday. Every day that I was to spend as fae.
I never wanted that part of my life. If anything, I felt like she was doing me a favor. The months seemed to stretch out too long. I was too numb, too terrified of the monster in my memories to be scared of meeting my end on my eighteenth birthday. But now I wonder what she gained from my sacrifice, wonder if there’s a way to take it back.
Kendrick’s still staring. Still waiting for the answer I won’t give. “I need to know if there’s a problem so I know if I need to fix it,” he says.
“You can’t fix it.”
“In a world full of magic, there isn’t much that cannot be fixed.”
I hold his gaze and cut myself open, just a little, because he deserves to see how broken I am. “I would’ve given anything for just one hour—one moment—without the fear.”
Closing his eyes, he tips his head down. I think he might kiss me. I want to feel a kiss that gives life instead of takes it. I want to feel a kiss that’s wrapped in tenderness and affection and not vengeance and hate. But he simply touches his forehead to mine and whispers, “I know,” before pulling away.
“Why do you do that?” The words are out before I can stop them.
“Do what?”
I’m an idiot. “Nothing.” I turn away, but he grabs my hand before I can go far. I stop but don’t face him.
“Why do I do what, Slayer?”
“Sometimes the way you look at me is confusing. I don’t understand what you want.” I stare at the glint of firelight on my boots. “Forget I said anything.”
Slowly, he turns me to him, then studies my face. “I’m trying to follow your rules.” He’s doing it again—looking at my mouth like he can’t stop thinking about it.
The ache of longing unravels something low in my gut. “What rules?”
“On the day you agreed to help us with Erith, you very specifically told me not to kiss you.”
I blink. “That was before you knew about the ring.”
“I need you to be very clear right now, Princess.” His gaze dips to my mouth and holds there. “Are you saying your rules have changed?”
My belly is riot of butterflies. Yes. No. What if I kiss him and the reality of what I’ve lost—what I’ve given away—is worse than ever? What if these nine months pass and I never know his kiss?
“You wonder what I want?” He dips his head, the bridge of his nose skating over mine. His breath dances across my lips, and I arch into him. “You say your kiss is deadly, but every hour that passes, I feel more and more like I might die without it.” His lips ghost across my mouth. “Tell me the rules have changed.”
I draw in a long breath, gathering my courage. “Those rules only apply when I’m wearing the ring.” I meet his gaze, watching the reflection of the fire’s flames flicker in his eyes. “I don’t even know what a kiss should feel like.”
He cups my face in both hands, his eyes shifting back and forth between mine. “Like this.” So slowly, so painfully slowly, he lowers his mouth to mine.