Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 82010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
“I know you do, man. Let’s just forget last night.” Ryder nodded, his slightly hunched postured suggesting he still felt uneasy. “I’m heading back to bed,” I announced, sipping my aspirin as I walked.
“Sure. Say mornin’ to Jake for me.”
That made me smile as I made my way back to the bedroom. Back to Jake, who was in my bed. I can’t understand now how I ever thought keeping him hidden was for the best. I don’t think, fuck that, I know, I have never been so happy. So content.
“Hey,” Jake mumbled sleepily when I crawled in beside him. “What were you doing up.” He turned over to face me, yawning groggily.
“Couldn’t sleep,” I replied, resting my hand on his hip. “Headache.”
“You’ve done a thousand interviews, Sawyer,” he tried to soothe.
“Yeah, and I’ve hated every single one of them.”
“That’s because you’ve always had to lie. Today you get to be yourself, babe. Embrace it. Show the world who Sawyer Knight really is.”
“Truth is, I’m not even sure who Sawyer Knight is anymore.”
“What do you mean” he asked, apprehension forcing his eyebrows together. “You’re not having regrets?”
“No,” I answered quickly. “Not about us if that’s what you’re thinking. I just… I’m tired, Jake. This life – being on parade all the damn time, having things expected of me. I keep thinking back to when we were in The Lakes. It was so peaceful, so quiet. We could do what we wanted, when we wanted. Just us. You and me. I want that for us, Jake.”
“Are you saying you want to leave the band?”
“I don’t know what I’m saying. I just know I want more than this. Or less, depending on how you see it.”
“Sawyer,” he breathed, reaching over and cupping my face in his palm. “Music is your whole life. It always has been.”
“No, Jake. Music was my whole life. Now I have you.”
“I wouldn’t be able to count the amount of times I used to dream of you saying those words to me,” he admitted, shuffling closer, torso to torso. “Sometimes I have to look twice because I can’t believe you’re really here, that you’re really mine.”
“I’ll be yours for the rest of forever, Jake.”
“How’s your headache?”
“Um, easing off a little.”
“Good. Because I’m going to fuck you now.” Smiling, I willingly rolled onto my back, laughing as he pounced on top of me. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” were the last words he said, before devouring every inch of my body.
By the time morning rolled fully around, I just couldn’t think straight. I didn’t even know what I planned to say, but I called an emergency meeting with Claire and the guys anyway. They turned up at my house just after midday, looking like death reheated.
“This better be good, Saw,” Matt complained. “I feel like shit, I should be in fucking bed.”
“Is this to do with what happened in Australia?” Claire asked. “Have the police been in touch?”
“No, not since Thursday.”
Jerry tried to apply for extradition to the UK but was refused. He committed the crime in Australia and he will pay the price for it there too. Laurelin however, has been sent back to the UK to stand trial for conspiracy to murder. I haven’t seen nor spoken to her and I don’t plan to. After seeing Jerry, I realised I don’t need answers anymore. There aren’t any that I would understand or accept, so what’s the point?
“Guys…” I trailed off, sinking back into the white leather couch. “I’m not even sure what it is I want to say here.”
“So you got me out of bed with Belle for nothing? Fuck you, man.”
Matt and Belle have been inseparable since they met. He flew her out here with us when we returned and so far, in his words, he can’t imagine another pussy tasting sweeter than hers.
“This is serious,” I said, causing Claire’s eyes to widen. “I’ve been thinking. In fact, I’ve been doing nothing else. “I think… I think I’m done, guys.”
“Done?” Claire repeated. “What do you mean you’re ‘done’?”
“I’ve reached the end of the road. We’ve had ten amazing years together, but I don’t think I want another ten.”
“You’re not serious!” Claire snapped. “You’re being irrational. The last few months would test anyone, Sawyer. Once Jerry’s been sentenced and this is all over you’ll-”
“It’s got nothing to do with that,” I interjected. “I’ve had ten amazing years with you guys and I love every single one of you like my own family. We’ve spent year after year doing what we adore, we’ve experienced so much, gained so much… but I’ve always been kinda lost. Fame and music were the only things I lived for, I didn’t know anything beyond that even existed for guys like us. But now… I’ve learned so much this last few months, about life, about myself. I’m tired, guys. Tired of living for the rest of the world. I’m sick of being on show. I just want to live at my own pace, enjoy the smaller things that we don’t get to experience anymore.”
“Like grocery shopping,” Gavin said, smiling as if he understood. “Running for the paper. Getting’ a dog because you know you’ll be stickin’ around the same place long enough. Yeah… I get it, man.”
“You know,” Daz chipped in. “I’ve been putting off saying but, well since I found out Dana was pregnant, I’ve kinda been thinking the same thing. She needs me, the kid’s going to need me. This isn’t the life I want for them.”
“I think Kerry would be pleased,” Gavin said. “Since I proposed she keeps dropping not so subtle hints about wanting kids.”
“What about you, Matt. What do you think?”
“I think… I think I can’t believe this is over.” Emotion swelled inside my chest when I noticed the rims of Matt’s eyes starting to redden. It was the first human emotion I’d ever seen him show. “We’re… us. We’re a team. You guys are my brothers. How the fuck are we supposed to go our separate ways?”
“We’ll always be a family,” I assured him. “Just with less travel and less chaos.”