Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 106798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Life is a series of moments, and we deem some moments more important than other moments. I won’t remember standing in line for coffee, but I’ll remember the first time Leah complimented one of my photos while we sipped coffee at the interview. I won’t remember the shirt I picked out for Zach to wear to this wedding, but I’ll remember the cranberry tie and what he did to me after I tied it around his neck for the first time.
People devote their lives to God and sacrifice their human desires, so it would seem ridiculous for any human to put sexual gratification high on a list of important moments in life. Yet, here I am, adding this moment to a rare list of moments that I will never forget, and one that I’m not sure I can live without. It’s the words he says and the way he says them.
Every subtle grin, like he’d rather not, but he can’t help himself.
Every kiss to the top of my head, where he inhales deeply just before his lips make contact.
Every time he pulls me into his body, on a sofa or just standing next to him like he can’t get close enough to me.
Every. Single. Moment.
I’m going to miss them, and I’m going to compare every new moment to them.
Zach can’t stop staring at my black lace overlay gown with a slightly off-the-shoulder neckline and a generous slit up the leg. I think it’s the cranberry sash around the waist that has his attention. Also noteworthy, everyone— even Zach's dad—compliments him on his tie.
“Do I get to say I told you so now …” In one hand I hold a glass of champagne and my other hand strokes Zach's tie. “Or do you want me to wait until later?”
He sips his champagne. “You didn’t tell me the tie thingy to your dress was pink.”
I chuckle. “Because it’s not pink. It’s cranberry.”
“Red.”
I shake my head. “Cranberry.”
“Cranberry …” he mouths seductively, and I can’t help my snort and giggle.
“What a lovely dress.” Danielle’s mother stops on her way to the newlyweds to give me a quick once-over.
“Thank you.” I smile.
Zach makes the formal introduction like the gentleman he is. “Vicky, this is Emersyn. Em, this is Danielle’s mom, Vicky.”
“Will the next wedding here be yours, Zach?” She winks. “Or …” She twists her lips and squints as if trying to recall something. “Are you already married? I feel like I heard you were married.”
Before my heart has a chance to form a solid opinion about the appropriate response to Vicky’s questions, Zach speaks up, taking a step away from me.
A.
Step.
Away.
From.
Me!
“No. I’m not married. I was married, but my wife died.”
I step closer to him and reach for his hand, but he slips it into his pocket.
The world stops turning. Life as I know it comes to a screeching halt. Reality rears its ugly head, and I feel the wrath of my own stupidity cut right down the center of my heart.
Today is the day … or it was supposed to be the day. Today his family was going to find out about us. We didn’t discuss it. It was implied. Wasn’t it? Just hours ago, he lovingly called me his wife and did something incredibly intimate to said wife.
Wife. I am his wife!
Or … I’m fucking delusional.
“I’m very sorry to hear that.” Vicky continues toward the cake table.
My brain trips over the flood of thoughts and potential explanations for what he just said.
Did he legitimately forget we’re married? He’s relaxed, sipping champagne like that interaction, the lie, did not just happen. And I know … I really do know that spilling the truth to Danielle’s mom before anyone else would not be the best idea. At least my brain knows it. My heart is too busy bleeding to process actual thoughts. The rational kind.
Why are we hiding now? We weren’t real, but … we’re real now. Right? We don’t have to tell anyone, just let them see it.
Us holding hands.
Him whispering in my ear and brushing his lips along my cheek while grinning.
Until this exact moment, I didn’t fully understand how much that elephant in the room mattered to me, my feelings toward Zach, and my decisions about my future.
“Want some cake?” Zach asks.
I shake my head slowly. I don’t want cake. I want to know why today is not the day to just put it out there.
“Gather around, single ladies!” Vicky calls. “It’s time for Danni to toss her bouquet.”
It’s a small wedding, maybe thirty people. So there are only two single ladies here: Danielle’s best friend and her younger sister.
“Miss Emersyn …” Vicky crooks her finger at me. “Bring your pretty, single self over here.”
Three. Apparently, there are three single ladies here.
Zach gives me a little nudge with his hand on my lower back. I shake him off, shooting him a scowl over my shoulder. I want to kill him. I’m certain I will kill him. It’s only a matter of time.