Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 106798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
I don’t move.
Is this the line? The doorway? The mountain?
Is my job to pull him to the other side? Is he straddling the line, wondering what’s waiting for him on the other side?
Is that what he did for Suzie?
The words are heavy on the tip of my tongue. It feels right. I think. I … I don’t know. Can I tell him?
I know what you did.
Would it change his state of mind? Make things better? Make them worse?
“After I lost my trailer, there was this one night …” I find something else to say. I always find something else to say. “A rough night for whatever reason, and I can’t even remember why. I just remember the feeling because it wasn’t me. I wasn’t that person.”
Zach opens his eyes, but he doesn’t remove my hand from his face. I swear I see my own soul in the depths of his eyes, storms chasing the sunset.
“It felt like an out-of-body experience, like I didn’t recognize myself, the thoughts in my head, the mess of a woman in the rearview mirror. It felt like rock bottom, and I wasn’t sure how I got there. I just knew that I lost my trailer because I needed medication. I hated the medication … I hated why I had to take it. So…” I draw in a shaky breath “…I thought about taking the whole bottle. You know … maybe there was something better on the other side.”
He blinks, averting his gaze to the side for a quick second before meeting mine again. I give him a smile. It might look like a sad one, but it’s not. It’s a hopeful smile because I remember having this same smile when my phone vibrated with an email.
“That night, you emailed me and told me you got my name from the Mumfords. You asked me to come for an interview. So I didn’t take all the pills, just the one I needed.” I blink back a few tears. “We make decisions every day that don’t just affect our lives, sometimes they affect others in ways we may never know. You didn’t set out to save a life, you just needed a maid.”
“Emersyn,” he says it again, my name in three slow syllables.
When he doesn’t release my hand, I pull away. “I need a shower. And I need to brush my teeth.”
“You need to take your pill and eat something.”
With a stiff smile, I grab a slice of toast and retrieve my medication from my purse. “Taking my pill … eating something. Happy now?” I say on my way into the bathroom. Just as I reach the threshold, I glance over my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” he asks.
“The pills. You used to remind and persuade Suzie to take her pills.” I frown. “I don’t want you to have to do that for me.”
After several contemplative blinks, he returns a slow nod. “Yeah, well … it’s what you do when you care for someone.”
Oh, Zach …
Before I cry … before I let him see how much I’ve needed to feel cared for in this way, I shut the door and hop into the shower.
After I feel human again, managing to wash my hair fairly well without getting the stitches wet, I attempt to dry my hair.
Sundress.
Sandals.
My best smile.
“I could work with Leah today. I feel fine. But I know you’re not going to accept that, so we need to go somewhere. Do something. I’m not a fan of staying in a hotel room all day, even if it’s a nice one like this.”
Zach shuts off the TV and stands from the sofa. “You’re supposed to rest.”
“I’m rested. We don’t have to run a marathon, but I don’t want to spend the day in a hotel room.”
He twists his lips. “Have you been to the Cameron Highlands yet?”
I shake my head.
“Then let’s go.”
A grin slides up my face as I slip on my brown sun hat to cover my stitches.
Zach arranges a private tour for the day. By midafternoon, we’re perched on a blanket overlooking the lush highlands and eating strawberries from the field we stopped at along the way. I slip off my sandals and my hat. Zach gives me a funny look as his gaze shifts to the stitches on the crown of my head.
“There’s nobody around to see me. Don’t freak out that I’m ruining your reputation here.”
He chuckles, popping a strawberry into his mouth and chewing it despite his swelling grin.
“Can I take a picture of us and post it on Instagram? I won’t show your face.”
“What’s wrong with my face?” he asks.
“Nothing.” I roll my eyes and retrieve my phone from my bag. “I just don’t want to have to put a name to your face.”
“So you just want to start rumors?”
“Buzz. Not rumors.”
“Buzz. Tell me more about this buzz.”