Total pages in book: 142
Estimated words: 138526 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 554(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138526 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 554(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
“Don’t do that, don’t be an idiot,” he begs her, and I hear her shrill tone some more.
I lie in bed with a hammering heart, feeling sorry for her while hating myself, but also feeling sorry for me because I know what’s about to come.
After a five-minute conversation he enters the bedroom and the bed dips when he puts his knee on it.
“I have to go,” he whispers, leaning over me to kiss my forehead.
“Don’t,” I plead, holding his arm.
“I have to, I’ve never heard her sound so bad.” He stands and pulls on his pants, the belt rattles and change in his pocket jingles.
“Don’t go,” I beg again, sitting up and peering at his silhouette in the dark. “Please. I have a bad feeling.”
“She’s my wife,” he replies, sounding torn. “I’ve never heard her like this.”
“If you go now, you’ll be giving her false hope. She’ll never stop trying.”
“You’re young, you’ve never been married, you don’t get it. I can’t just leave her. Not when I’m the cause of her pain.”
I watch him walk away and repeat, “I have a bad feeling.”
“I’ll be back before sunrise.” He kisses me again and leaves without looking back.
He leaves me to my thoughts. I pace, click and count but nothing soothes me. Thoughts of him tangled together in a bed with her. Thoughts of her convincing him to stay with her forever.
I head to the kitchen to have another drink to calm my nerves, wine left over from dinner. It’s warm but it does the job. Then I brush my teeth, counting that too, brushing them so much my gums bleed.
I want him to walk back through the door and just tell me everything is going to be okay.
An hour passes and he doesn’t. I curl up in our bed and tap my fingers on my phone screen, wishing for it to ring but only because of a call from him. I fight sleep for as long as I can but eventually the alcohol in my system makes it impossible to avoid. I collapse, my head on his pillow because it smells like him and I’m that sentimental and lovesick.
He returns at sunrise and climbs into bed. When he reaches for me, I roll away. Maybe it’s immature and petulant but am I right in thinking that he left her and asked me to commit to him. Going out at three in the morning to see his ex-wife doesn’t feel like he’s committed to me. I shower, dress, and head out to meet Robert without him.
He should never have left last night; it has cast such a shadow of doubt over our relationship that I was finally starting to get comfortable in.
Chapter Thirty-Two
How jealous he gets without trying to control me.
Robert and I decided on Universal Studios. I’ve lived here my entire life and have never been. I’ve been to Disneyland but never Universal and to say we had an amazing time is an understatement.
Robert has this incredible ability to make me forget about everything else when I’m with him. He’s funny and charismatic and self-deprecating in such a hilarious way. He’s what I’d call a crude gentleman. He will buy the drinks, carry the things, hold the doors, and “accidentally” touch my butt and suggest that maybe we should have a quickie in the bathroom. But I know if I told him to stop, he would. He’s just so much fun and easy to be with.
He makes you feel so comfortable around him, like he forever acts the bigger fool, and nothing phases him.
This casts another shadow of doubt on my relationship.
“Get off your phone,” Robert admonishes playfully, trying to snatch it from my hand.
“It’s Izabella. One second.” I press my palm against his face. It’s just something we do to each other when the other is being annoying.
Izabella: Do you want to join Maria and me for lunch tomorrow? We haven’t seen you in so long.
I hesitate because… should I?
Rose: I’d love to, though I am at work, but I should be able to get two hours. Just let me know where and when. Why isn’t Maria at school?
Izabella: Mid-winter break. We’ll come to you.
I thought she just had that. I’m clearly not paying enough attention. Every day is blurring into one, I’m having too much fun, I’ve just been too happy. It’s not good really.
Rose: Awesome. I look forward to seeing her.
Izabella: She does too.
Rose: And you of course.
Izabella: Well, that goes without saying.
“Done,” I tell Robert who waits for me to put my phone away before taking my hand in his. His eyes are cautiously regarding me as though wondering how I’ll react.
I hold his hand for all of twelve seconds and find an excuse to let it go. I don’t want to hurt him but I also don’t want to lead him on.