Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 71967 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71967 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
It has goodbye written all over it.
I think I died in that very instant.
“I’m sorry, and I hope you’ll let me explain,” he pleads.
Knock Knock
“Holly,” he opens the door with a plastered on smile as a lady walks in. At first, I think she’s a teacher I don’t know. I notice her big belly before I recognize her familiar face, but can’t place where I’ve seen her before.
“Oh, I didn’t realize you had a student in here,” she smiles at me, and then back at him, expectantly.
The movies! It’s the lady I saw him with at the movies in the beginning of the year. Josh clears his throat, his face pale, looking at the floor as he speaks.
“Holly, this is Luci, Luci, this is Holly… my, ugh, wife.”
Moments between us flash before me, his words ringing in my ears.
His wife?
His pregnant wife?
“Luci!” She squeals. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
She walks in further, blabbing away. I pick up the words “favorite student” and “he can’t stop talking about you.”
I can’t breathe.
In fact, I don’t think I am.
My chest is tight.
“Are you okay, honey?” She asks.
I say nothing as I walk out the door and dart to the bathroom. I barely make it two steps before the sobs hit me.
I lock myself in a stall and sit on the toilet fully clothed, dry heaving, waiting for the vomit that’s in my stomach to make its way up.
There it goes.
I grab a handful of toilet paper, wiping my mouth and blowing my nose.
“Luci?” A voice calls.
Shit. I sniffle, trying to hold back my loud whimpers and tears.
“Luci?”
Maybe if I don’t answer she will just go away.
“I know it’s you.”
I see legs squatting, a hand on the floor, and Gracie’s head poking under the stall door.
“Oh my God!” She starts crawling under. “Are you okay?”
Why is it when an upset person hears the phrase ‘are you okay?’ does it make everything even worse?
Because I’m not okay. I’m galaxies away from okay.
“Last time I met you in the bathroom it was me who was upset,” she tries to lighten the mood unsuccessfully. “Luci, you have to breathe.”
“Go away,” I shake my head, but I can’t actually see through the tears if she’s listened.
“Talk to me.” her voice is worried. Nope, that’s my sister, not listening.
“I… can’t.”
“It’s just, things were getting better between us,” she says. “You promised we would change. So talk. Please.”
“Gracie, I’m sorry. Just go.”
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong! I’ve never seen you like this. Not even when grandma died.”
I grab my stomach. It hurts. Everything hurts, like I’m shattering into a million little pieces.
“You promised,” she reminds me. “I freaking crawled on the bathroom floor, so if you think I’m leaving you’re very wrong.”
“How did you even know I was in here?” I change the subject, willing for her to just disappear.
“I didn’t, I was just going to the bathroom. Then I heard you blow your nose.” I give her a look, because that doesn’t really explain anything. It could’ve been anyone. “I’ve lived with you for fifteen years. I know what you sound like.”
The bell rings and we’re quiet.
“Get to class,” I whisper.
“It’s obviously a guy.”
“It’s complicated.”
I grab more toilet paper and blow my nose again loudly.
We hear voices.
Girls enter the bathroom.
They talk.
Toilets flush.
The sink.
They leave.
Gracie still here, waiting expectantly. The late bell rings, and the next thing I know she leans down and hugs me, letting me cry on her shoulder.
And I do.
Because I can’t control it.
“He’s with someone else and I didn’t know… he’s…” It comes out almost as a question, because I can’t believe it. My body shakes, and I’m not able to finish my sentence.
“Gosh, I didn’t even know you had a boyfriend. I mean, I thought you were just too in love with Mr. Harrington to even notice anybody else,” she jokes.
I pull back from her, covering my face with my hands, the tears gushing at the sound of his name.
“Oh gosh,” realization dawns on her. “And I mean, Oh. My. God.”
“I’m so stupid,” I wipe my eyes.
“Luci,” she pauses. “Did he, like… force himself on you?”
“No, God no. Kind of the opposite.” I’m embarrassed, but hell, it feels so good to talk about it.
“I knew you were both into each other. I saw it,” she says proudly. “But… wow.”
I cry harder, her words aren’t helping.
“Sorry,” she whispers. “I mean, like, when did it start?”
“It started getting, um, physical, in January.”
“Six months!? How did I not know about this? Did you, like, go out on dates and stuff?”
“Irrelevant.”
“Sorry,” she shakes her head. “I’m just trying to picture how this would work.”
“It can’t,” I’m so angry. “That’s the point. It can’t work. It never could work,” I throw my head in my hands, the tears soaking the top of my shirt. “I knew it was stupid. I tried to stop seeing him. To stay away, and I couldn’t. Gracie, what’s wrong with me?”